Cannot Sustain Firm Strong Erections + Semi-Erection When Having Sex + Dick Go Soft Halfway (Compiled)

[mathew_tck]

ok, here is my story.

last time, my bf and i planned to have sex in a hotel for the 1st time since we knew each other for a long time and that time was the 3rd time we met face to face. however, when we were in the hotel cuddling together, my penis could not fully hard. anyway, we actually cammed with each other for quite a number of times and masturbated on cam, those time, no doubt my penis was in real hard. but why my penis couldn't fully hard when i met him personally? no doubt i was pretty turned on by him, but my penis just could not react as usual. when i tried to penetrate his virgin tight hole, i couldn't make it, because my penis wasn't hard enough to do the job. can i know what was the problem? why was my penis like that?

PS: we were still virgin

[Guest hmmm]

it's called anxiety or kancheong...

[cock brand]

ok, here is my story.

last time, my bf and i planned to have sex in a hotel for the 1st time since we knew each other for a long time and that time was the 3rd time we met face to face. however, when we were in the hotel cuddling together, my penis could not fully hard. anyway, we actually cammed with each other for quite a number of times and masturbated on cam, those time, no doubt my penis was in real hard. but why my penis couldn't fully hard when i met him personally? no doubt i was pretty turned on by him, but my penis just could not react as usual. when i tried to penetrate his virgin tight hole, i couldn't make it, because my penis wasn't hard enough to do the job. can i know what was the problem? why was my penis like that?

PS: we were still virgin

If you can get a full erection when masturbating alone but could not when with someone, it means that you are not suffering from erectile dysfunction but rather caused by what they say performance anxiety.

During sex, try not to rush but take your time to engage in erotic foreplay and teasing to arouse each other, to make each other high first.

[ixmog]

Take the advice from Cock Brand. He is the best branded cock in town

Btw, besides anxiety, you guys ever encountered guys with soft cock and yet cummed ?

I'm kinda of felt it is strange

[mathew_tck]

If you can get a full erection when masturbating alone but could not when with someone, it means that you are not suffering from erectile dysfunction but rather caused by what they say performance anxiety.

During sex, try not to rush but take your time to engage in erotic foreplay and teasing to arouse each other, to make each other high first.

could it be due to, i was the active site and he was the passive site that he didn't give much foreplay to me?

[cock brand]

could it be due to, i was the active site and he was the passive site that he didn't give much foreplay to me?

You see, this foreplay is a mutual thingy and also, what you like and find arousing may NOT be what he prefers.

So sometimes it has be led; eg you like your balls to be stroke, tell him so or better, show him.

Communication is the key word.

[GachiMuchi]

The above posters are right. It is what we call as performance anxiety. The more you want to perform, the more your dick dun respond to you.

The best thing to do is to cuddle, kiss and do more foreplay to calm the nerves. If your friend can suck you, it would help too. Once you get back into form, just push it in slowly and savour the tightness of his ass opening up. Make sure he is well lubed. It would help if you did some fingering of his ass and that he is relax enough and are prepared for entry.

[GachiMuchi]

could it be due to, i was the active site and he was the passive site that he didn't give much foreplay to me?

For me, I will explore my bottom's sensuous points and make him high. As for what makes you high, you should know urself. If sucking helps u get hard, let the bottom suck you.

Let me know if you need help in locating where are your points are.

[mathew_tck]

For me, I will explore my bottom's sensuous points and make him high. As for what makes you high, you should know urself. If sucking helps u get hard, let the bottom suck you.

Let me know if you need help in locating where are your points are.

may be i couldn't get high was that my bf didn't pretty like to suck me because of the taste of my precum. he told that he didn't enjoy sucking people as he felt it weird. anyhow, i can understand what he meant and i don't want him to suck me if he doesn't enjoy doing so.

what did you mean 'Let me know if you need help in locating where are your points are. '? you can help to locate where my points are as long as you want

[GachiMuchi]

Aiyah, percum dun hv strong smell lah. You might want to wash your dick thoroughly, especially if you are uncut.

If your bf dun like the smell of the dick, you can ask him to suck on a minty sweet and I can tell you the feel will surely be nicer than without a sweet. At the same time, the smell won't me to strong as it will be covered by the sweet.

I think the problem with you guys are that you guys don't think our of the box. Be more creative in your foreplay and in no time, u will be humping like an EverReady Bunny.

Hmm..maybe you can ask those good in sucking here to conduct a class for your Bf on how to suck a cock.

[Tachyons]

Haha ... I want to join BJ classes too !!!

Well ... I feel that there is no shame if you are semi erected ... Just rest and relax , change positions , and get back into the mood again ... Sometimes you dont have to rush to get an erection ... The more you rush , the less likely you can achieve it ...

[mathew_tck]

hmm, is there any good cock sucker here? no doubt there won't be none lo

can you guys conduct a class here or in a new thread on how to give pleasure to people by sucking a cock? :oops:

as detail as possible =X :oops:

[Guest hmmm]

from all your postings, it is a sure case of performance anxiety.

and your line of questions tell me you are stressing yourself out big time.

it is abt your bf. and you are making love. and that in itself is a lot more than just `having sex'. making love is a whole process of, well, making love! it is a process of musutal discovery of what works for each other, of finding out each other's sensitive spots, of discovering what works for you and him and what does not. so, let yourselves relax and enjoy each other's bodies... communicate. if you are not sure if it works for him, ask. and he should ask you too.

you in best form when you are not too stressed up about giving the best performance. no need to feel so stressed up... tickle, laugh, have fun, suck, rim, etc... you will be surprise how thing will go when you are both totally relax - mentally and physically.

enjoy yourselves.

[cock brand]

hmm, is there any good cock sucker here? no doubt there won't be none lo

can you guys conduct a class here or in a new thread on how to give pleasure to people by sucking a cock? :oops:

as detail as possible =X :oops:

There are hundreds of ways to arouse thru foreplay - by sight, sound, touch, smell, taste etc; sucking as suggested by Gachi is just only one of them.

You need to experiment on yourself to locate your erotic zones, areas you get damn shiok when being touched or caressed, some is their inner thighs, some their nipples, some even their ears.

Once, I just tickle his meatus with the tip of my tongue got him wriggling with pleasure and high as hell. :twisted:

However, the most miserable sex is when you get a "dead fish" btm - just lie there and not not keen on doing this or don't like doing that; just wanted to be fxxked!

[ixmog]

Wah ! Who conducting blow job seminar ?

I wanna be the audience

Matthew you are so fortunate !

With two experts(Cock Brand & Gachi Muchi) or I will say Si Fu(师父） teaching you. I hope you will overcum your anxiety. :clap:

[mathew_tck]

thanks, guys for your opinions. i will try to relax next time.

Wah ! Who conducting blow job seminar ?

I wanna be the audience

Matthew you are so fortunate !

With two experts(Cock Brand & Gachi Muchi) or I will say Si Fu(师父） teaching you. I hope you will overcum your anxiety. :clap:

can't wait for the seminar as well

you spelled my name wrongly by an extra 't'

that's my honor to be taught by them.

thank you, i do hope so and i'll try my very best

[unitight]

If you can get a full erection when masturbating alone but could not when with someone, it means that you are not suffering from erectile dysfunction but rather caused by what they say performance anxiety.

During sex, try not to rush but take your time to engage in erotic foreplay and teasing to arouse each other, to make each other high first.

As I experienced this 'performance anxiety' too in the past, here are some of my other suggestions that I can give to Mathew and others too .. (apart from GM and Cockbrand's suggestions)

• Try an unplanned sex dating with your partner - when you book a room in a hotel, do not reveal that you are going to have sex with him, instead pamper him with a dinner delivered to your room and have a nice relax dinner instead, some of the food even can be used a foreplay devices (this I have to message you personally if you want to know)
  
• It is even better if any or both of you like to do roleplay or are into any kind of fetish. Do you always fantasise your partner to be gagged and feeling helpless? Or being lubed his entire body with a nice soothing massage oil? It surely helps you to get hardon much quicker :thumb:
  
• Last but not least, as most bottoms are more 'despo' why not ask them to insert their ass to your dick instead during the beginning of your fxxk session? It allows the top to enjoy + being in control and yet, the bottom has much freedom to move. later on you can move to a dominant position
  

[Guest newguy2l]

another view on the floppy dick problem

U think u love your bf

but actually your subconscious is not so into him

meaning - u think u like him but actually u dont

[mathew_tck]

thanks, unitight for the new ideas :thumb:

another view on the floppy dick problem

U think u love your bf

but actually your subconscious is not so into him

meaning - u think u like him but actually u don't

it's harsh, however it's acceptable, but i strongly disagree with it

anyway, thanks for the comment too

[Guest hmmm]

another view on the floppy dick problem

U think u love your bf

but actually your subconscious is not so into him

meaning - u think u like him but actually u dont

i totally disagree. i have yet to come across anyone who does not give in to his smaller head when it comes to sex.

[Guest L]

As I experienced this 'performance anxiety' too in the past, here are some of my other suggestions that I can give to Mathew and others too .. (apart from GM and Cockbrand's suggestions)

• Try an unplanned sex dating with your partner - when you book a room in a hotel, do not reveal that you are going to have sex with him, instead pamper him with a dinner delivered to your room and have a nice relax dinner instead, some of the food even can be used a foreplay devices (this I have to message you personally if you want to know)
  
• It is even better if any or both of you like to do roleplay or are into any kind of fetish. Do you always fantasise your partner to be gagged and feeling helpless? Or being lubed his entire body with a nice soothing massage oil? It surely helps you to get hardon much quicker :thumb:
  
• Last but not least, as most bottoms are more 'despo' why not ask them to insert their ass to your dick instead during the beginning of your fxxk session? It allows the top to enjoy + being in control and yet, the bottom has much freedom to move. later on you can move to a dominant position
  

the poster mentioned that they are both virgins right, so it takes time and experience to develop the skills for having good sex and making love.

My take on this is that the top person may be too used to having sex in a sitting position camming in front of the computer hence it may help if he initites and try to recall the same body positions and start of with him sitting on a chair in the hotel room with the partner sitting on the bed both mastrurbating until hard and then the partner sits on the tops hard cock while tops is still in a sitting position.

Good luck.

I thought i had an anxiety problem with sex perfromance too but later I found out that I can have great bareback sex with my steady , using a condom while having anal sex may cause one's penis to go limp if one is used to having sex with one's hand all the time, the sensation and warm from the hand feels different from the insides of a slippery rubbery smelling condom.

Once my cock feeels the lubricants lining the insides of a condom it will slowly wilt, but i can get it hard by plain masturbating with my hands.

My topping sexual prowess are quite good barebacking with my steady so much so that orgasms always ends with my steady flinging and banging his head against the mattress and eyes rolling only the whites can be seen, using a condom lessens the pleasure for both of us ,and my dick goes limp quickly before able to insert into the warm waiting quivering ass of my steady.

Barebacking may help but only for mutually committed exclusively monogamous gay couples like us.

[mathew_tck]

thanks -L- for the suggestion. i'll do that too next time

[GKS]

Apart from the all the advices listed above, a private and good location for love making is another factor that helps to enhance the intensity of sexual pleasure than performance anxiety.

A short holiday with a variation in lifestyle and location, at most instances, would also relax your mind and produces a more romantic mood for your hot session.

Some Sex foods for males further intensity the sexual urge. You might want to google it and try them to identify the right one that works for you.

Some body pumping and the bar Pressing on the chest with correct breathing technique and accurate posture will instantly make erection to the maximum.

Communicate with your bf. Love making is different from lust flushing. It is the action that integrates the soul and mind. You would feel the power of love. A classical case for the former is the Yang Guo and Xiao long Nu practicing the Yunu xinjing.

Trust your partner and rotate the leading role in the process. You would find that there are more than one language when both of you have the mutual communication on bed. The chemistry is wonderful!

These are the psychological aspects of love making that will bring about integration, intensity and the sexual pleasure. As a result, after love making, the relationship is even more intimate than before out of the understanding of the inner needs of your bf. Sensuous with understanding and trust will establish mutual relationship each time you enjoy the climax of sex. That's another form of love too.

Edited October 30, 2009 by GKS

[mathew_tck]

Some body pumping and the bar Pressing on the chest with correct breathing technique and accurate posture will instantly make erection to the maximum.

what is the body pumping and bar pressing that you mentioned?

Edited October 30, 2009 by mathew_tck

[castaway]

All these advices are for experienced guys BUT both of you are still virgin so it is normal ... , just relax and practise more :thumb:

[GKS]

what is the body pumping and bar pressing that you mentioned?

I have discovered this technique when my trainer orders me to do some exercise at this metal bar station. Basically, this particular exercise, aid by the metal bar( Look like Monkey god's jing gu bang)on a solid frame, integrated the beauty of Qigong and Yoga at one station. No wonder I always see many people crowded at that station.

My cock erecting in the shower cubical while bathing after that training session. You could feel the power circulating the whole body and it gathers at your cock. The whole cock has expanded and harden as though you have been rounds of fallatio by so many guys.It is erotic when you grip it in your palm even the shower seems failing to cool you down. Burning, keep on growing and expanding on your palm as though you are fxxking a bottom. Horny.

After that training session, I met my bf for a wild and kinky sex.

Exercise helps. Now we have one more answer for your problem.

I like the candid advice from Castaway: Just relax and practice. You would be a better and balanced man if you could fully experience the sexuality. The fast pace that characterized a cosmospolitic city has changed our life style.Do have a short escape to KL or Bali. You would realized what you have forgone. How I wish more people could plan to rest and relax according to their schedule. I have provided advices to many of my hetero couple friends to go for a short trip and they have never failed to thank me when they have their first baby.I always encourage them to have more babies with an intention to remove the worries of their elders and our leaders. It is always a pleasant view to look at the children cheering in the playground, swiming in the pool, reading in the classroom, laughing joyful in the parks.This is what i could do being not hetero. For PLU, just encourage you to relax and enjoy sex unless you have an intention to convert to straight.

Mathew, With reference to your enquiry, I am a new gymer who pays no attention to the jargon of gym. I have not back to my gym as my trainer has left the gym, apart from the fact that I dislike the new management whom have convert the whole place into a night club style which is not good for exercise one's body and soul.The unique fengsui of intensify the positivity and masculinity via uninterrupted and panoramic views of the ocean has also been jeopardized. Currently I am still looking for an experience gym trainer and a good gym.

I would find out more from my ex trainer who is now a freelance instructor.Once I have the specific term, I will reply you via mail.

Mathew, thanking for post a precise question which lead me to review of my sexuality and duty as a man while helping you.

Have a nice weekend!

Edited October 31, 2009 by GKS

[unitight]

I have discovered this technique when my trainer orders me to do some exercise at this metal bar station. Basically, this particular exercise, aid by the metal bar( Look like Monkey god's jing gu bang)on a solid frame, integrated the beauty of Qigong and Yoga at one station. No wonder I always see many people crowded at that station.

Indeed, I would also like to know more details about this exercise. Perhaps my friend, who is a trainer can help me to execute this correctly for a more rewarding sexperience!

[GKS]

Indeed, I would also like to know more details about this exercise. Perhaps my friend, who is a trainer can help me to execute this correctly for a more rewarding sexperience!

the avatar shows that you are a strong and sexy man.

Ok, I will email you too once I have the answer.

Edited October 31, 2009 by GKS

[mathew_tck]

Mathew, thanking for post a precise question which lead me to review of my sexuality and duty as a man while helping you.

haha, welcome . thank you too for the help, i am looking forward for more details about the exercise too.

All these advices are for experienced guys BUT both of you are still virgin so it is normal ... , just relax and practise more :thumb:

hmm, i get the point now , anyhow, thanks, guys, for all the comments and suggestion, now i've got some general ideas about love and sex.

[ahboy1223]

I have been having fun with my partner for quite awhile... recently something weid happened .. Halfway throughout having sex, my dick will just get soften by itself...and i will be unable to continue to have sex. Even i try to wank it to get hard..after inserting for awhile , it will still go down by itself.

So i just wondering if i am having any problem myself . or what should i do ??

Am i Sick? or just that i no longer have mood to have sex ? ...Any kind soul care to enlighten me .. lol..

[Guest Guest]

maybe u have lost interest sexually in ur partner. bf or fb?

[Guest leo]

you may be tired. take some ginseng tea and recharge.:-)

[TannedKE]

I think it's due to the pain... when I pluck out hair at my balls and dick area... the pain will make my balls shrink Same goes during sex. I think it's normal

[Guest ono]

you may be tired. take some ginseng tea and recharge.:-)

ginseng is for energy recharge. TS's problem is something mental --- "performance anxiety." This happens when a man is so worried about getting an erection that his fear becomes self-fulfilling.

try something different, you in relax mode and cuddle/caress with your bf until u got an erect. let him take the lead and sit on to u.

[Guest Concerned guy]

i agree with tannedKE, during my role as bottom, my dick will shrink if its too painful.

last time i did experienced similar issue, my dick went soft in the middle of the sex. I have learned that, it may be due to poor blood circulation. last time i dont do any regular exercise and i work in office, just sit down in front of PC throughout the day.

now, when i do some exercise and my new sales job requires me to walk around and carries heavy devices, i can feel my blood circulation is better. i dont have any problem with my dick anymore. funny things is that, the more tired i am, the more horny and my dick gets very hard after my exercise

[teentitans]

watched too much pxxn and stuff, u've desensitived your brain..

http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-and-porn

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction-is-growing-problem

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/save-your-sex-life/201011/healing-erectile-dysfunction

http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/guide/ed-psychological-causes

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/will-i-last-the-psychology-of-erectile-dysfunction/

Its a common thing, youths shouldn't have ED. the answers you need from what you're experiencing can be obtained from the links provided.

happy wanking.

[ahboy1223]

Not sure leh .. after i tried , failed liao i just go and wank myself and cum...after that he went to slp.. then after another 2-3 rounds of LOL i just go back and try again..

This time we had sex until both of us cum.

Maybe its really like what those member said. anxiety performance lo.

got 1 time halfway through our sex intercourse , my mum actually knock my door and ask me what i doing !! LoL my dick just went down immediately. After that we tried to resume.. totally cmi liao.

[lovehandle]

wow this make me horny, halfway and your mum knock knock!!!!!!!

what did u reply her? "Mai cha lah?(stop making a fuss)" she knew your friend is with u inside?

Not sure leh .. after i tried , failed liao i just go and wank myself and cum...after that he went to slp.. then after another 2-3 rounds of LOL i just go back and try again..

This time we had sex until both of us cum.

Maybe its really like what those member said. anxiety performance lo.

got 1 time halfway through our sex intercourse , my mum actually knock my door and ask me what i doing !! LoL my dick just went down immediately. After that we tried to resume.. totally cmi liao.

[Guest Guest]

Sex and love are not necessarily anal. Some don't enjoy the sensation of either giving or taking it. If that is the case then you either adjust or abandon.

If after a few unsuccessful tries and it is still an important hurdle to jump over, take a pill just so you get through it once, then you can relax.

[ahboy1223]

wow this make me horny, halfway and your mum knock knock!!!!!!!

what did u reply her? "Mai cha lah?(stop making a fuss)" she knew your friend is with u inside?

Lol i just die die dont open door loh ...

the next morning she jitao ask me... yesterday that guy come again izzit.. LOL i just totally ignore her HAha

[lovehandle]

Oh ok ah boh ah... U mean she will allow your fren to stay overnite?

She didnt suspect anything?

& "jitao": immediately.....

[ahboy1223]

Lol She is ok with frens coming to my house...but not this guy ..i also dunno why , Lol

[Guest Worried Soul]

Hi,

 

Am a pure top here and have been enjoyed fucking btms, flex btm, flex top or even married curious/bi guys.

 

Due to recent work activities and flying here and there which resulted me in masturbating myself late at night when home or in hotel when overseas. I have no time to engage for anal sex for almost 10 months.

 

Recently managed to get a flex btm for anal sex at his place. I got hardon while we were having foreplay but when the flex btm was ready for my cock penetration, somehow my cock got semi hard which I found difficulty in inserting my cock into his ass.

 

Why is that so ?

 

Please advise

[journey]

Tired. Anxious. Nervous. Lack of sleep.

[Undies69]

agree .. too tired and anxious ... take it slow ... I have such problem last year after no anal for 6 months plus ... after few sessions .. my cock gets back to alive and kicking...

 

no worries....  but those btms need to be patience with you ..

[mydontay]

Yes...you need to take a break and relax yourself....you will soon be hardon!

[junxiang]

U didn't mention yr age. That might help

[Dorkable]

Stress and performance anxiety are usually the common reasons for erection death.

 

Furthermore, it's a stranger you are about to pound. While most guys are sexcited and okay with hooking up with random strangers, some only get really turned on with someone they are more familiar with and trust. 

[bluerunner]

Time for u to try n enjoy the pleasure of bottoming.

[Guest Guest]

He hasn't fucked for 9 months so I would say that's enough rest, why advise him to rest further!

Just take a sat or sun morning off to wake up with a bottom and ask him to suck you to wake you up, and then sit on your throbbing cock and ride you like a horse. Let's see if your cock goes soft.