Do You Believe In Fate?

[Guest Hurts]

Do you guys believe in fate?

If it makes me feel good, I have to believe in fate. If I don't believe in it, I will live in hurts for the rest of my life.

I am not talking about love relationship kind of betrayer. I am talking about human beings fickleness in this mundane world. On one hand he/she appears very kind and passionate, than they could easily change and become less friendly and cruel all of a sudden that puzzle us. I have nine out of 10 people in this lives that behave in such manner and I cannot also be the one being the scapegoat of their temperament. If I continue to mingle and stay put in the situation, it seems I am desperate for their companion. If I simply walked out, do you believe my absence will make these people grown fonder for all the good things I have done for them in the past 10 years?

As such I plan to leave my boss. I wanted my colleague to feel my absence. I wanted to leave my close friends (or servere with them if they don't give a damn for my dissapearances). I plan to leave my family briefly for a long holiday. I wanted to be alone just by myself away from the fakeful world. My action is likely to change a lot of things when I returned - lost my friends, lost my jobs - but that is fate right? and I think I will feel better for a thorough cleaning of those who have betrayed me or even lied. I need to built new world and new friends again and will not look back. I will not give a damn.

[Mandrake]

Sigh... Look Buddy,

There is the fate and there is you. The fate can only do so much with the will you have. If you do not connect with the higher will... fate will surely work against you. If you will walk away like this... the little you gathered will also be lost. The Higher Will contains your Higher Self. Be a bigger person and you will be loved.

Break the Optical Illusion you created. Logically, how can fate be against you alone. How can the whole world, your family, your work, your friends altogether be against you and not seeing your worth. Surely it has something to do with yourself, no? If it is, it will follow you wherever you go.

But perhaps this is a test... or something we call fate deem you need so much... for with every fall, the walk is being perfected. Maybe being alone will make you see your own worth. But it is definitely a more painful road without support.

Good luck in your journey but remember to stand up again when you fall and don't give up...

We all fell many many many times... till we know how to cherish others before expecting them to cherish us.

I still fall when the terrain is out of my expectation.

So keep working on it. =)

Edited March 31, 2010 by Mandrake

[GachiMuchi]

What you describe here has nothing to do with fate. It is about the Choices you are going to make.

[Guest Hurts]

What you describe here has nothing to do with fate. It is about the Choices you are going to make.

It is fated that I have to make such choice forced by circumstances that hurt me.

[GachiMuchi]

No. U can still NOT make a choice when force by circumstances. So it is still NOT Fate.

[castaway]

Agree, here is Choices, NOT Fate.

May be you always understand the word/things wrongly so it might be one of reasons that you have "wrong" friends, colleagues ...

[Mandrake]

It is fated that I have to make such choice forced by circumstances that hurt me.

Aren't we all under the same rule? We are all living human beings... Hence don't blame circumstances. Whose life is forged without betrayal along the way? Whose hearts are not broken before through the journey? If you are a plant, don't blame that you found shit all around you. Start extracting the nutrients and welcome the rain. Remember what I say, it is all these falls... these tribulations that make you stronger. Emerge glorious from it or forever be damned with the pile of shit.

[Guest Please Forgvie Me]

Buddha says "“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” (PS, I am not buddhist)

I used to think that Fate played a big role in my life. That it governed circumstances and held responsible for all events around me. Little then that I realized our consciousness created the reality. Today, I believe in the Law of Cause and Effect.

We cannot change people but we can change ourselves. We ought to think that things happen to us for us to grow. Things happen because of choices we make, good and bad. When we want to have more friends, we trade off quality. When we think hate, we become hateful.

I understand your frustrations. It can be tiring when your energy is constantly being sucked. However, leaving everything and hoping for your absence to be felt, and forgive me, is about yourself. To determine why your living experience is of a certain not-so-good quality or why such things have come into your life, you need to discover what causes preceded the effects.

Stop making plans but to live your life in the moment. Go inward into your soul and make peace. Only when we can find peace within that we can start to give it away.

[Guest 2010]

my friend told me to plan my future after 2012... because 2012 is end of the world..

[GachiMuchi]

What is there to plan if you believe that 2012 is the end of the world because u won't be alive by then.

You should live life NOW.

Here is an e.g. of how one can spend 2 years. (see 1:47sec of Youtube)

[cock brand]

Its not fate.

You are just a troubled person wanting attention, lots of it thats all.

Your friends, your boss, your family members don't owe you that.

Ask yourself, have you done anything meaningful to anyone of those people you mentioned?

Have you given any attention to your own parents?

Have you ever really cared for anyone?

If you are the problem itself, no one will miss you even though you go away and don't come back anymore.

You need professional counselling, the sooner the better!

[Guest best]

What is there to plan if you believe that 2012 is the end of the world because u won't be alive by then.

You should live life NOW.

Here is an e.g. of how one can spend 2 years. (see 1:47sec of Youtube)

you are the best.... big heart...

[Guest sharing]

Hi, I would like to share the following with all of you.

面对它、接受它、处理它、放下它 (“它”也可写作“他”)

Loosely translated, it means:

Face it, accept it, deal with it, let go of it (it can also be replaced by a person)

All the BEST!

-----------------

转载这篇圣严法师教诲信众的小故事提供好友们参考;

遇到事情的时候，特别是比较严重问题的时候，

我通常用四个态度或者四个层次来处理。

第一个就是面对它；第二个接受它；第三个处理它；第四个放下它。

这个很好用。

任何问题发生的时候，特别是严重的问题、困扰的问题，逃避是没有用的，

所以面对它是最好的。

然后你面对它的时候，你要接受它。你不接受它，这个问题还是在那里。

接受它以后，如果你用方法来处理，能够处理的当然是非常好。

但如果是不能处理的，你面对它的时候，这就是处理了。

你接受它的时候也就等于是处理。

然后可能你觉得非常懊恼，心里面忿忿不平，老是心里边挂着那件事，很痛苦。

这时候你走不下去了，但另外一条路来了,那就应该放下。

所以任何事情发生以后，你处理了就把它给放下。

／圣严法师于09年2月3号下午四点在台大医院圆寂，享寿八十岁。

[like wind]

read these, 读完后你会认清自己的心(especially No. 4). Don't think that you are the only one suffer in this world. GM's reply is an good example. Love yourself, find your true self. Only then, you will feel worthly and happy. After that, share your worthiness with others. Never close your heart until you can't feel for others.

[Guest allanwu]

fate:

getting born rich

getting born with a 7inch dick

getting hit by a Romanian with an audi while you cross the road using the appropriate traffic methods in the middle of the night and die

these are fate

choosing whether or not , or how to react to your surroundings, that a choice

choosing whether to work hard or not for your exams, that's a choice

choosing to post a topic in this forum, that's a choice too

i've seen a guy which i can't get over for over a year, randomly on the street twice , after 1 year of no contact

that's fate

whether i should get all depressed , or forget about this guy and carry on with my life.

now that's a choice

Edited March 31, 2010 by allanwu

[TheVisitors]

It is perfectly alright to have a troubled mind, for no one is totally troubled-free. Yet a mind is neutrel and it has this tremendous power in it to create anything, with your connection to your higher self, but not that petty squabbling part of you. A trouble, an event or experience is merely an external feature, it has nothing to do with your mind.

But when you invite this trouble into your mind, and internalizes it, that is when your troubles will begin, because you choose to take it in and create your future life path.

But if you could seperate the trouble as trouble, your mind as your mind, and see it as an opportunity for you to extract whatever essense, to learn and to be wise, trust me, with a detachment to seperate things and see them as they are, you will be happier.

In short, the observer and the observed. The observer is the observer, the observed is the observed.

It is when the observer becomes the observed, you are just merely creating unnecesaary entanglements and its related mess, you will be become densely unhappy in time to come.

Let me elaborate what Mandrake has said, to extract nutrients from the shit you are surrounded with, - it is a wisdom so well worded and precisely said .

Now with that note in mind, and now faced with all the postings given to you, you can now start to discern, which postings makes sense, enlighten and uplift you a little, but really, ignore those who doesnt know you, yet critize and make you feel small.

I really dont see you as troubled, but rather, questioning things and about yourself, which is good, because the path to mindfulness must start from scratch somewhere, no matter how ridiculous it may sound.

It is inevtable, as a human, to suffering the consequences of the thoughts and actions created by yourself or others.

But to continue dwelling and indulged in those sufferings, now thats a choice you have to make.

It is not fated.

It is about your perception you choose to see then create.

You respond to what you perceive, and as you perceive, so shall you behave. And how you behave, so shall how others will behave towards you.

Thus what you see in others, you are strenghtening yourself

It is as simple as that.

You can surface to breath fresh air reaching out to others, or sink deeper in your self pity all by yourself.

Perceptions are choices, and not facts

The fact is that you have many choices and that power in your hand, so dont blame or romantize on the idea of fate.

Learn to let go of old beliefs that serve you no purposes.Learn to let go of people places and things that make you feel so small, powerless and angry. Learn to see things with sound acceptance, without harsh judgement and vigorous denial.

What you resist will always continue to persist.

What you deny and resist, you declare. So what you declare, you create

You really cannot change what you cannot accept. You first change yourself.

Things that you deny or have no control over, infact controls you.

When you accept things as they are, (peacefull) you are in fact in control of your life.

When you are in control of your life, you create good things for yourself and others.

Sounds preachy? Not it is not. It is a simple equation we all forgot somehow along the way.We are no perfect, we are learning everyday.

So now do you spot the differences?

Fate are for the weaklings.

Destiny are for those who are in control of their lives.

[Guest boy2man]

Well said, The Visitors!

[Guest Hurts]

Oh no!! I am a simple person, too much philosophy troubled me. I prefer to recipocrate treatment, you treated me nice I repay my kindness back. If you treated me bad I will avoid you, leave you and even break up with you. As simple as ABC. I don't understand nutrients and shit thingy but the fact is - SHIT STINKS isn't it? You may want me to welcome rain and embrace it but when there is rain, there is no sunshine which I was looking for.

Anyway, already told all the people around me my plan. Now they are frightened, they came to pacify me, coax me and ask me to stay by their side, so much for shedding crocodile tears. 早知今日，何必当初

[Mandrake]

Oh no!! I am a simple person, too much philosophy troubled me. I prefer to recipocrate treatment, you treated me nice I repay my kindness back. If you treated me bad I will avoid you, leave you and even break up with you. As simple as ABC. I don't understand nutrients and shit thingy but the fact is - SHIT STINKS isn't it? You may want me to welcome rain and embrace it but when there is rain, there is no sunshine which I was looking for.

Anyway, already told all the people around me my plan. Now they are frightened, they came to pacify me, coax me and ask me to stay by their side, so much for shedding crocodile tears. 早知今日，何必当初

Now I will show you why you said the world was kind at one time to you and turned cruel the next.

It is exactly what you make people do. It is you. I feel compelled to be cruel to you at this juncture.

You may think you "win" this time, boy.

But remember the other boy who cried wolves too many times.

He was devoured by the wolves in the end.

No one helped him as he deserved it. You too shall follow suit if you persist. You are pathetic.

Edited April 1, 2010 by Mandrake

[TheVisitors]

Now I will show you why you said the world was kind at one time to you and turned cruel the next.

It is exactly what you make people do. It is you. I feel compelled to be cruel to you at this juncture.

You may think you "win" this time, boy.

But remember the other boy who cried wolves too many times.

He was devoured by the wolves in the end.

No one helped him as he deserved it. You too shall follow suit if you persist. You are pathetic.

Lets look at things on a brighter note, Mandrake.

All the postings doesnt necessary meant for his sole readership. I am sure they are better appreaciated by more sensible and mature audiences, and those who may find the postings, applicable to the present state of their lives.

People will have to pay a price to their own follies and foolishness in time to come, so why bother?

You thinking of wolves, you're too kind. I was thinking more on a pack of hyenas or a school of pirahnas.

Edited April 1, 2010 by TheVisitors

[Guest bearded1]

It is perfectly alright to have a troubled mind, for no one is totally troubled-free. Yet a mind is neutrel and it has this tremendous power in it to create anything, with your connection to your higher self, but not that petty squabbling part of you. A trouble, an event or experience is merely an external feature, it has nothing to do with your mind.

But when you invite this trouble into your mind, and internalizes it, that is when your troubles will begin, because you choose to take it in and create your future life path.

/

/

Sounds preachy? Not it is not. It is a simple equation we all forgot somehow along the way.We are no perfect, we are learning everyday.

So now do you spot the differences?

Fate are for the weaklings.

Destiny are for those who are in control of their lives.

Apart from the frequency of bad grammar ("fate ARE?? for weaklings"), "destiny ARE?? for those who are in control of their lives" - what a load of waffle!

There is nothing more dangerous than a high-minded, deluded soul who seeks to show others 'the path'.

Time to leave the pulpit to those who know what they are talking about Mr Visitors................

[TheVisitors]

Apart from the frequency of bad grammar ("fate ARE?? for weaklings"), "destiny ARE?? for those who are in control of their lives" - what a load of waffle!

There is nothing more dangerous than a high-minded, deluded soul who seeks to show others 'the path'.

Time to leave the pulpit to those who know what they are talking about Mr Visitors................

Oh its you again, the white bottom old fart. Shouldn't you be busy searching for young tops to screw your old butt ?

Or are you here because you are frustrated due to all your proposals were rejected and all search, futile?

You know, what people do say - Maturity and Wisdom doesn't come with age....you certainly do fit the bill, perfectly !!!

The older you become the more bitter you have become, which is very noticeable....

Don't worry old fool, I trust sensible people here won't end up as pathetic as you.

[snowball]

What is fate?

http://o3.indiatimes.com/fate1/

What Is Karma?

http://www.purifymind.com/WhatKarma.htm

Fate and Destiny in Your Life

[Guest duhz]

Do you guys believe in fate?

If it makes me feel good, I have to believe in fate. If I don't believe in it, I will live in hurts for the rest of my life.

I am not talking about love relationship kind of betrayer. I am talking about human beings fickleness in this mundane world. On one hand he/she appears very kind and passionate, than they could easily change and become less friendly and cruel all of a sudden that puzzle us. I have nine out of 10 people in this lives that behave in such manner and I cannot also be the one being the scapegoat of their temperament. If I continue to mingle and stay put in the situation, it seems I am desperate for their companion. If I simply walked out, do you believe my absence will make these people grown fonder for all the good things I have done for them in the past 10 years?

As such I plan to leave my boss. I wanted my colleague to feel my absence. I wanted to leave my close friends (or servere with them if they don't give a damn for my dissapearances). I plan to leave my family briefly for a long holiday. I wanted to be alone just by myself away from the fakeful world. My action is likely to change a lot of things when I returned - lost my friends, lost my jobs - but that is fate right? and I think I will feel better for a thorough cleaning of those who have betrayed me or even lied. I need to built new world and new friends again and will not look back. I will not give a damn.

If you "don't give a damn", then DISAPPEAR. Go. Whether you run away, commit suicide, swallow poison, I DON'T GIVE A fxxk.

DO IT fxxkING RIGHT NOW. DON'T WASTE OUR TIME, DON'T WASTE SPACE ON THE FORUM.

People with guts follow up on their actions straight away. Only gutless fxxks blame everyone and everything else around them and still bother posting online

[cock brand]

Oh no!! I am a simple person, too much philosophy troubled me. I prefer to recipocrate treatment, you treated me nice I repay my kindness back. If you treated me bad I will avoid you, leave you and even break up with you. As simple as ABC. I don't understand nutrients and shit thingy but the fact is - SHIT STINKS isn't it? You may want me to welcome rain and embrace it but when there is rain, there is no sunshine which I was looking for.

Anyway, already told all the people around me my plan. Now they are frightened, they came to pacify me, coax me and ask me to stay by their side, so much for shedding crocodile tears. 早知今日，何必当初

Haha, so are you smiling happily to yourself now since your little plan is working so well?

一哭，二闹，三上吊，such a childish act, I believe your next plan should be attempting suicide.

So now you should be aborting all those plans of going away for a long long time I think.

I wasn't wrong earlier calling you an attention seeker, willing do anything to be noticed.

People like you do not deserve any kind words at all.

And yes, you still need to be counselled, the sooner, the better!

[snowball]

I need to built new world and new friends again and will not look back. I will not give a damn.

hurts, i think you are one of those who think highly / much of themselve, but the facts is,

company won't closed down just you leave ( unless you are the only big boss ), colleagues & friends

will seek for others when you not around, you better adjust yourself & have positive attitude towards

life, maybe you are the root of the problem & not them.

remember world & time won't stop for anyone.

if you are simple, you won't have so much " complains " & keep thinking how good & important you are,

you are quite self-centered, what you expect from others? when you need them, they must be there for

you within 24 hours?

what type of new world you seek? people there treat you like mighty " god "?

can see that you are very stubborn, it is one of the evil seed that make your life painful

you ever know that?

maybe your friends & family members are more " peaceful " when you not around.

i do encourage you to take a short trip to relax yourself.

hurts, don't treat voices different from what you expected are all against you,

you are actually very fragile & weak, you are not as " tough " as you thought.

is time for you to re-understand about yourself.

Edited April 1, 2010 by snowball

[Crimson87]

How old is this "Hurts"? He sound like some immature teenager...

If you feel that your plan is working for you, go ahead and do it. All these empty talk and no action happening. Try your disappearing act and see what happens, you are lucky that people around you are showing you concern after hearing about your immature plan. It would be silly to think that they are frightened that you will disappear from their lives. The earth will continue to spin with or without you.

Grow up, go take a short vacation and sort out your thoughts. If you feel that you are willing to put everything behind and move on, just do it. Too much of these empty talk will make you appear as a drama queen/attention seeker.

Fate is not the right word to use in your context. You need to get out of the self-pity act soon dude.

[Guest In A Nasty Mood]

Oh no!! I am a simple person, And so you thought, pal! A simple person has simple needs but, here you are, seeking to be treated above the rest with a mindset that everyone owes you a life. too much philosophy troubled me philosophy is just too big a word. What was written by others simply highlight the very basic dos and don'ts. Those that were taught by every parents to their children to live life peacefully with love. I prefer to recipocrate treatment surely, it is not indicative to what you are. Reciprocal is a 2-way thing , you treated me nice I repay my kindness back Such a sad thing, isn't it. The irony to everything about your life. Ever thought why the people around you cannot 'repay your kindness back'? When you give love, you get love in return; When you treat others like shit, you just got to swallow it back. Ah, and this is what reciprocal is about!. If you treated me bad I will avoid you Only when you have a mind to understand, and consciously accept LIFE, there is no such thing as 'avoid you'. Never live a life stuck in double standard, it ain't get you anywhere , leave you and even break up with you Learn to grow up. An eye for an eye is so passe. . As simple as ABC Do learn about Mathematics 123. The mathematical truth about life will give you a balanced mindset. Together with ABC, it only ends you up with a soul rich with harmony . I don't understand nutrients and shit thingy but the fact is - SHIT STINKS isn't it? It is! And yours smell just the same, isn't it? Ever farted and shit gold in your life? You may want me to welcome rain and embrace it but when there is rain, there is no sunshine which I was looking for When it rains, give blessing. When there is sunshine, give blessing. Why live in a conflicting duality of your mind and not able to embrace events as they appear?

Anyway, already told all the people around me my plan. Now they are frightened, they came to pacify me, coax me and ask me to stay by their side, so much for shedding crocodile tears. 早知今日，何必当初 And what you offer in return is mockery? Never be too sure about your flight, pal. One day, yes one day [ok, I am not going to manifest things for you]..

[Guest Hurts]

If you guys love shit so much go and get it, smell it and eat it!!! I am sure it has all the nutirients you want. If it rains, go out and embrace it, get yourself wet and don't stay indoor typing in front of your PC criticising me. Instead of showing kindness, you old folks tried to criticise me which is in complete contrary to your "philosophical" talk. Good for you but I know what I want. Shit smells, there is no question about it.

[Guest jayy]

fate:

getting born rich

getting born with a 7inch dick

getting hit by a Romanian with an audi while you cross the road using the appropriate traffic methods in the middle of the night and die

these are fate

choosing whether or not , or how to react to your surroundings, that a choice

choosing whether to work hard or not for your exams, that's a choice

choosing to post a topic in this forum, that's a choice too

i've seen a guy which i can't get over for over a year, randomly on the street twice , after 1 year of no contact

that's fate

whether i should get all depressed , or forget about this guy and carry on with my life.

now that's a choice

Pretty much agree with everything allanwu has said.

[retri]

There are many ways to take a pill. Obviously many of the entries here prescribed a pill that proved big and difficult to swallow for the one who is seeking relief. Criticism and advice is only one thin, fine line apart. It is exactly this reason that at anytime things may backfire, one always have the option of saying something in the lines of, "I'm just sharing / don't take me wrongly / I don't mean it that way", all of which cowardice is seen too commonly everywhere. Then there are the ones who prescribed the big pill, standing by their words, who obviously have too thick a hide to admit that the situation could've been handled differently, often ending with "this is me, and I'm just being myself / take it or leave it" and so on, or either start another flaming war.

It is very likely that this is one of the reasons in which hate and resentment continue to spiral and grab the ones who are not strong enough into this never-ending cycle. Now, we come back to: Circumstances, and Choice.

Not everyone has the same clarity to make judgments that are sound, or less sound (or more), than others.

Not everyone has the same level of will power as the others.

Not everyone has the same tolerance for criticism (be it constructive, or otherwise).

It is easy to point flaws in someone's premise, but when one embarks on that, I would question the person's intent, and his intelligence whether or not he knows where this is going to lead to, and if that is the desired outcome in which all parties can be content with. If it serves just the self and the ego, then he is just another self-righteous person with a know-it-all attitude who is anything but.

Of course, there were kind comments and wise advice shared. For those who are simply out to make a point (your point) and to criticize (as if anyone will admit to that), I think that you are the ones who made this place worse.

Then again, referring to the above points made, I should remind myself to be aware that:

Not everyone has the same clarity to make judgments that are sound, or less sound (or more), than others.

Not everyone has the same tolerance for criticism (be it constructive, or otherwise).

I hope by writing what I have wrote, I have achieved something for the ones who are humble, and the one who declared himself as Hurt.

[davecub]

Whatever we do, there is always a choice - direct or indirect.....the choice is still ours.

If we can't live today proper, why bother about tomorrow? why worry about 2012?

Happiness is yours if you want it, don't throw it away because of what others did / said.

Edited April 6, 2010 by davecub