The Psychology Of Acting Straight - Str8 Acting Discussion + "Straight Acting" - what does that mean? (Compiled)

[GachiMuchi]

There is an interesting article from Trevvy (formally Sgboy) on

The psychology of acting straight

Incidentally, with reference to the above, one of my friend told me last nite that he was tricked twice by some guys from IRC who claimed that he was "str8 acting". During the meeting, he found out that they were not at all "str8 acting" but the opposite.

[cw30]

what is the true definition of "str acting" ? different ppl have different perpective of the other person "str acting". It can be his character, physical and even his gesture or the combination of everyone.

[sexybeast]

to be frank, its very rare to find a straight acting guy. its true, like it says on the article, maybe first 2 dates he can keep up the pretence, but after a while the essence of queeniness comes up, either by a bit or bya flood. almost all gays have this thing that causes us to sense that they are gay by out gaydar.

even the macho muscle gay men, sometimes it works against them, cos in our society, people have realised that mostly the gay mena re the ones who are so gym obsessed. they think that by building all those muscles they can get rid of their limp wristed past, but they have just moved on to another latest stereotype of gay, the muscle mary.

even my straight friends who have gone as guests with me into the gym at cali can i dentify who is gay even tho they look so muscular and macho. so it kinda defeats the purpose of them building their bodies to be straight acting. in the past the general populace in singapore stereotyped gays as the limp wristed queen but most people of our generation now knows the other stereo type the muscle mary.

i wonder if this obsession with straight acting reflects on ourselves or on society? is it our own fear? or is it a fear to be outed borne by societal pressures? i am lucky to be in an industry where i can be open abt it, maybe there are some people who are not comfortable abt it but they have been numbed to it, due to the constant exposure to gays. thats why i for one always say i am neutral. neither the queen nor the macho man. just a normal gay guy, not too gay, not too straight.

[biguy]

I don't think that gay or bi that gym with muscular built want to look " str8 acting " , most of them just want to look good, think about that, with look & built how they look like if they put on T-shirt & smart wear, i not refer to those very tight one.

Guy that don't workout or not taking seriously, not cos they are real str8 but more to lazy, it's not easy to have tone fit body or muscular with 6 or 8 pacs, it don't just take a day or two to obtain that figure, whenever people saw someone with great built & say that they are gay i think they are very naive & childish, more gay are chubby & flabby & skinny, they totally don't even want to workout at all so do you want to say they are str8?

Gay,sissy or str8 don't depends on built but more to their normal acting & seed within them.

[Nice-36]

Incidentally, with reference to the above, one of my friend told me last nite that he was tricked twice by some guys from IRC who claimed that he was "str8 acting". During the meeting, he found out that they were not at all "str8 acting" but the opposite.

Hi Macho Gachi

It is all a matter of perception.

Half glass of water is seen as half FULL by the optimist n half EMPTY by the pessimist.

And all know that FULL and EMPTY are diametrically opposite to each other.

Who knows, somewhere out there, are the same guys ur frd met, and they are bitching over EXACTLY the same thing abt ur frd.

Just some food for thoughts.

Live and let live buddy.

[GachiMuchi]

It is all a matter of perception.

Half glass of water is seen as half FULL by the optimist n half EMPTY by the pessimist.

And all know that FULL and EMPTY are diametrically opposite to each other.

Who knows, somewhere out there, are the same guys ur frd met, and they are bitching over EXACTLY the same thing abt ur frd.

Just some food for thoughts.

Live and let live buddy.

True, my eloquent Nice-36, as it was just hear say on my part, I can't determine to what 'extend' when he meant by that guy is 'not str8 acting, but opposite'.

My friend is definitely str8 acting and manly and at 41yo he has nice bod to go with his looks too and he is not the typical "Muscle Mary" as mentioned in the article.

=============

I do agree with Biguy on his posting about people who gym may just want to look good, but I will disagree with him on the stereotype that "Guy that don't workout... are lazy"

I think each person have their own reason/s to or not to workout. Anyway, hope Biguy doesn’t get hate spam from his posting.

[Guest Wonderer]

I have an immediate neighhour moved in a year ago with his wife and a teenage daughter. He was your average Joe when he just moved in, however six months later, he changed. He started to go to the gym and kept a goatee , change his dressing style and try to look like a metrosexual man.....BUT when I look at him now, he is less str8 looking.....Always walking pass my door with boxer shorts only when my door is open ??????? Wonder can makan him

[Frogprince]

Wonderer, think you should not do anything with him. The worst thing that can happened would be his wife turning up at your doorstep. Besides he has a daughter. come look for me instead ...

webi

[Nice-36]

True, my eloquent Nice-36, as it was just hear say on my part, I can't determine to what 'extend' when he meant by that guy is 'not str8 acting, but opposite'.

My friend is definitely str8 acting and manly and at 41yo he has nice bod to go with his looks too and he is not the typical "Muscle Mary" as mentioned in the article.

I m YOUR eloquent Nice-36 now ?

Haha .. suddenly my head just increased 2-fold in size..

If ur friend is half as macho as u, he would easily qualify as my vegetable. From the way u describe him, he sounds tempting ... bring him to our outings one of these days la .. can or cannot ?

I judge for myself..

[kerbee10]

nice36 u like to orak GM...out thread abit..you two..always sing one and the other sing along..duet show har...

haha....

[citiguy]

what is the true definition of "str acting" ? different ppl have different perpective of the other person "str acting". It can be his character, physical and even his gesture or the combination of everyone. 

ha ha i totally agree. Come to think of it, even a sissy can be considered as straight-acting. There are sissies who are straight, just that they are more feminine than the normal guys on the street. But, they are after all straight. So aj sissies who are like them can also be considered as straight-acting.

I think we should change the phrase to "straight-looking" rather than "straight-acting" because it makes me feel that we, ajs are so pretentious, only know how to act.... Just my 2 cents worth of thoughts.

[kerbee10]

Many of us are playing this str8 acting role in our daily life...at work, family outing,friends gathering...blah blah...many of us are still in discreet life, where we did not open out to the people around us...

str8 acting...acting...means a role to play.....a son, a employee, a husband or a frend....in the str8 world...where ajs topics are not discussed and the bahaviour is not that intimate, more preserve and conserve....

str8 looking.....the gesture, the charasma, the behaviour, the clothing....which will sum out to our impression to people around us....in the str8 world definetely...ie, I heard people said ajs like to wear nautica brand clothings and those who wear sling bag are high possible to be AJs....its a sterotyping..and people try to dress and behave in a str8 way...

in fact regardless str8 acting or looking...its only termilogy for us discreetly hide entity.....

thats my defination....

cheers...

[chubachub9]

Read it so many times, but wonder what it really means.

I think str8-acting means that based on your looks AND actions/mannerisms, people would be surprised to find out that you are gay.

So are buffed-gym-guys usually 'str8-acting', as many so claim in their profiles? Despite having a 'masculine' body, many of these gym bunnies do things that many 'str8' men don't do. These gym guys usually 1) stop in front of a mirror to check face/hair, 2) wear designer-stuff that is matching, 3) or wear tight-tight muscle tees, 4) and carry a sling 'man-bag', 5) and hang around other guys similarly dressed/behaved, AND altogether bitch like old ladies. I do not find these actions to be 'str8-acting'.

In that case, 'str8-acting' must be used in opposition to 'gay-acting', but no one uses that term. I suppose that 'gay-acting' does not just include guys who are effeminate, but also guys who are like those discussed in para 2.

Of all the guys I met who claim that they are 'str8-acting', 8 out of 10 I can tell straight away that they are not straight. And the 2 who are really 'str8-acting' are usually bi.

But having said all that, I know an army friend who is SUPER effeminate (including a high-pitched voice) but is happily married with 3 kids.

What is your definition of 'str8-acting'?

Edited October 25, 2010 by chubachub9

[patisoy]

Straight acting are those who won't flick a finger and not obsessed with designer clothes and bags. Real men won't pay so much attention to how they look like and no matter how they appear to others, they still look fine. Maybe 80% of those men at the gym are confirmed gays. It's a lot easy for you to distinguish gays from straights because you have the gaydar. You know there's a saying "it takes one to know one" :-)

[steak_knife]

I think they are the guys who we think are straight basing on their actions. We think they are straight because they walk and talk like normal straight guys do. We'll never know that they are gay or bisexual unless they admit it or we saw then doing something of gay behavior.

In my opinion metrosexual guys are one hair strand away from being gay. Lol!

[Guest hunk who wants a hunk]

Straight acting are those who won't flick a finger and not obsessed with designer clothes and bags. Real men won't pay so much attention to how they look like and no matter how they appear to others, they still look fine.

Now different era oredi, there's something call "metrosexual".

These men are straight and are concern with how they look, very common especially if you go Orchard.

[patisoy]

Now different era oredi, there's something call "metrosexual".

These men are straight and are concern with how they look, very common especially if you go Orchard.

Metrosexuals are gays. They may be of the different category aside from homosexuals, transexuals, transvestites, etc. Only gays have fondness for designer clothing, bags and shoes. I've worked with real and ruggedly handsome men for years in the aerospace and maritime sectors. There is only one common thing I've noticed among all of them -- they don't really care if their tees are matching with their trousers and shoes. They pull anything from their closet and wear anyhow without having to project a certain image that everyone sees in fashion TV.

[Guest Guest]

Yeah to me, metrosexual guys are straight and will always be. Time have changed. These guys take care of their looks and bodies and wear designer brands if they can afford it. Some straight guys do it to attract girls too. Females nowadays are obsessed with their looks, status and all. They will wanna find guys who can match them.

Some straight guys, especially those into gymming, like to compare their physique or bodies and will take notice of how other guys dress up or groom themselves. Some appear to be mild mannered, conscious of their image and all, you are able to get along with them easily and they treat you like brothers but dun get the wrong idea. This is why the term 'metrosexual' is coinned up. I always believe that they are straight and are sexually attracted to girls and its just stupid to think that we can bend them and all.

[Guest Guest]

Metrosexuals are so apparent among the younger generation now. I know so many straight guys who are into gymming, basic skincare and designer brands. But they still have gf, get aroused when they see girls and watch and talk about straight pxxn and all.

[Guest hunk who wants a hunk]

Metrosexuals are gays. They may be of the different category aside from homosexuals, transexuals, transvestites, etc. Only gays have fondness for designer clothing, bags and shoes. I've worked with real and ruggedly handsome men for years in the aerospace and maritime sectors. There is only one common thing I've noticed among all of them -- they don't really care if their tees are matching with their trousers and shoes. They pull anything from their closet and wear anyhow without having to project a certain image that everyone sees in fashion TV.

I think you need to go out more often, times have changed.

[snowball]

I think you need to go out more often, times have changed.

time never change, people changed

[GachiMuchi]

If you look str8, you don't have to act. If you need to act, then it's very likely that you will be found out.

[Guest Gachi Admirer]

If you look str8, you don't have to act. If you need to act, then it's very likely that you will be found out.

Okay, I think Gachi is very straight acting. Oops, I mean he is very straight... he does not need to act at all

[Guest Guest]

Quite true, looks play a part. Thats why sometimes will have people coming up to you and say 'you dun look gay at all'.

But i believe a huge part is your behaviour. I would say straight acting = act more masculine. Mostly actions and the way you speak.

[thorzguy]

I couldn't agree more with gachi muchi: "If you look str8, you don't have to act. "... why do one have to say straight acting? The word "acting" - means not original by nature. Apart from looks, mannerism also plays a part.

I do know of AJ friends, whom i think look "straighter" than even some metrosexual friends of mine...

[GachiMuchi]

What is a str8 look? By general consensuses, Str8 looks denotes the look of manliness. Thus, all attributes that defines a man will be considered the Str8 look.

Question; Why do gay men needs to 'act' str8? Are gay men not men? Then why do they need to 'act' manly? Some gay men do have problem being manly. It's all in their behaviour and attitudes of their core believe of who they are.

Gay men are caught between the Man and the Woman spectrum. Those that sashay more towards the women spectrum would certainly be more womanly in behaviour and attitude. Those who stride towards the man spectrum would certainly be more manly. If a gay man is in the extreme ends of the spectrum, for the manly gay, there is no need to act because they look very str8, some even more str8 than the str8 men. The feminine gay would most likely prefers to be a woman and they are more likely to be comfortable in their own skin as a 'women'.

It is usually those gay who are not sure of who they are or those who are closeted, etc. that would resort to 'acting' str8 for fear that their gayness can be spotted by their friends, family, colleagues, etc.

In descriptive text in an ad; the word 'str8 acting' means the person is looking for a manly guy. That's all.

[Guest Guest]

Yeah well said. For me, i dun think that im girly but im not very very man too. I have a bit of feminism in me. Last time i will try not to show it, thats what i called 'straight acting' for me. But now i dun care liao, why act? Just be yourself. Its because of this feminism element that enables me to make more aj friends, people tend to be more comfortable with you.

[Guest xdude]

I remember someone saying many of those who say they are straight acting are not wrong. They are just lousy actors

[snowball]

Straight-acting is a term used to describe an LGBT or GLBT ( is an initialism referring collectively to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. In use since the 1990s, the term "LGBT" is an adaptation of the initialism "LGB", which itself started replacing the phrase "gay community" ) person who does not exhibit the appearance or mannerisms of the gay stereotype. Although the label is used by and reserved almost exclusively for gay and bisexual men, it may also be used to describe a lesbian or bisexual woman with stereotypical feminine appearance and mannerisms.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straight-acting#cite_note-0

how does one define straight-acting? An informal poll returned the following characteristics of straight-acting: manly, athletic, sporty, rugged. (One less enlightening answer: not gay-looking.) Of course, we all know that acting like a straight man takes more than that. An unfortunate gay pal with a fetish for straight men rhapsodises about a hulking presence, controlled but un-self-conscious, with a graceless grace...

http://www.trevvy.com/scoops/article.php?a_id=48&c_id=3

[Guest Guest]

I find this of topic very discriminative. I ever met a manly straight acting man in sauana and when I wanted him to give me a good fxxk, he turned out to be a bottom.

Oh well this is another topic altogether. But it's important to enjoy what you do and in this case, choose what you enjoy to do.

[Guest stockydude]

Moves, acts and behaves as who you are. Why bother about to label?

If you can tell who is gay or not, doesn't mean that person is not manly or he is sissy. It is because your gaydar tells you so.

It is always good to look at the mirror and check ourselves first before we start passing comment/remark about others lor. :whistle:

Straight acting or not? Dun worry lah, just be yourself and be happy.

[Guest Guest]

I wld think 'str8 acting' means a gay who behave manly. As many pple sterotype or think all gay behave sissy. But there are some gay who are not sissy, so i guess how the term 'str8 acting' comes abt.

[luke84]

i think it's just does not openly look at guys, but comment on gals more often in front of friends.

do not have little actions that shows hints of 'softness' and not overly touchy

[Guest alien]

i think it's just does not openly look at guys, but comment on gals more often in front of friends.

do not have little actions that shows hints of 'softness' and not overly touchy

Sometimes not necessay when a guy who is "soft" and "touchy" are gay. I have one colleague who behave girly, but he is very desperate for girls, and very 'chee kor pek' towards girls!

[Guest Guest-Star]

I wld think 'str8 acting' means a gay who behave manly. As many pple sterotype or think all gay behave sissy. But there are some gay who are not sissy, so i guess how the term 'str8 acting' comes abt.

Yes. this is exactly what 'Str8 Acting' means........ :thumb:

[Guest Tang San Zan]

I wld think 'str8 acting' means a gay who behave manly. As many pple sterotype or think all gay behave sissy. But there are some gay who are not sissy, so i guess how the term 'str8 acting' comes abt.

Not true. I met a guy who walked, behave, act very manly and I thought he's a TOP. Unfortunately, when got him onto bed I then realized that he is not "Straight Acting" instead he is "Acting like Straight". I had to ran out of the cubicle while he tried to grab me back like the spider demon in the "journey to the west". Jiu Min Ah ~~~~~~~~

[davecub]

Not true. I met a guy who walked, behave, act very manly and I thought he's a TOP. Unfortunately, when got him onto bed I then realized that he is not "Straight Acting" instead he is "Acting like Straight". I had to ran out of the cubicle while he tried to grab me back like the spider demon in the "journey to the west". Jiu Min Ah ~~~~~~~~

i would prefer to top a manly bottom than a sissy one.

[Guest Guest]

someone who is str-acting is

- doesnt behave sissy, speak and walk like a queen

- do not fancy into gayish dressing which from 1 distance ur radar shouts 'he is gay'

basically, he behaves like a normal str acting guy.

[Guest jayy]

The problem with this 'str8-acting' business is that certain stereotypes have been reinforced into our minds:

-Gay men act and dress effeminately

More often than not the ones that fit into this stereotype are the gender-crisis individuals who feel they're women trapped in a man's body. But the point is, a lot (or for that matter, most?) of gay men are just men who are attracted to other men, and that's the only thing that sets them apart from your average straight joe.

[Guest alien]

i would prefer to top a manly bottom than a sissy one.

Not matter the guy is a top or btm, i like my guy to be manly. This is the reason why i am attracted to a guy. If i like a guy who behave girly, i might as well go and look for a girl liao. Hahaha.

[Guest darkflame]

Not matter the guy is a top or btm, i like my guy to be manly. This is the reason why i am attracted to a guy. If i like a guy who behave girly, i might as well go and look for a girl liao. Hahaha.

I couldn't agree with you more. I don't know how to explain this but strong manly guys give me a sense of security, especially those with broad shoulders and meaty arms.

I guess straight-acting could be based on personality and environment. I grew up in a sort of homophobic environment so I tried to 'adopt' as much average joe traits as possible like trying to speak like a male would, enjoying games (but modding them to have ugly women and hot guys) etc.

[zonnieboy]

let's see... is Thomas Ong or Julian Hee str8 acting?

[Guest alien]

I couldn't agree with you more. I don't know how to explain this but strong manly guys give me a sense of security, especially those with broad shoulders and meaty arms.

I guess straight-acting could be based on personality and environment. I grew up in a sort of homophobic environment so I tried to 'adopt' as much average joe traits as possible like trying to speak like a male would, enjoying games (but modding them to have ugly women and hot guys) etc.

Haha, although i like manly guys, but not necessary my guy needs to give me sense of security or with broad shoulders and meaty arms. His overall behaviour is manly gd enough, even he is lean.

[Guest alien]

let's see... is Thomas Ong or Julian Hee str8 acting?

I find Thomas Ong a bit str8 acting than Julian Hee. But somehow i find both of them a bit "auntie" lor.

[doncoin]

I always think gay guys who claim to be "straight-acting" taking themselves too seriously. What it means to me is this overwhelming internalised fear to be perceived as a limp wristed shrieking queen with a LV bag somewhere. I mean if you are straight-acting, shouldn't you be eating pussy and not sucking dick to pass off as manly?

All I can say is forget about labels. Be who you are. Be secure about it. Every time I see guys using words "straight-acting" I just want to tell them to stop it. Breathe. Be yourself. You are gay. Embrace it. Shriek like a banshee or gasp over a pair of Prada shoes if you want to. Define your own space. Enjoy this freedom, instead of running away from it.

I think most gay men fall in the middle of the spectrum, neither overtly flamboyant nor ultra butch. Of course, there are always exceptions.

Edited November 1, 2010 by chelseasian

[Guest guest?]

personally st8 acting means just be what ure supposed to be hahaha

because world changed oredi, not every metrosexuals are gays, or not all of sissy guys are gays either

im very str8 acting because well, not sure why but everytime i come out to a friend they are very very shocked and far from thinking that im gay.

[cadlad]

to avoid confusion, i usually use the term straight-behaving.

[Oops]

... If i like a guy who behave girly, i might as well go and look for a girl liao. Hahaha.

haha....

Although i think that sometimes its really the personality and characteristics that matter rather than the gender. (but girly/manly behaviours tend to affect the personalities too...haha)

[Guest guest]

woman act straight man behaving. i am one of them

[Guest Str8gay]

In fact I find that many young straight guys dress better than gay guys. In Orchard Rd you see them out on dates with their girlfriends.

There are a lot of gay guys who dress simply.. I know many who dress badly too.. t shirt/singlet, shorts and slippers/crocs, even when they go to parties where everyone else is dressed up

In fact I think straight guys are the new "gay".. most gay people have become really boring... bitter, self obsessed, sex obsessed, and many hang out only with gay people.. many of the new straight guys hang out with people they find interesting, straight or gay.

Straight acting are those who won't flick a finger and not obsessed with designer clothes and bags. Real men won't pay so much attention to how they look like and no matter how they appear to others, they still look fine. Maybe 80% of those men at the gym are confirmed gays. It's a lot easy for you to distinguish gays from straights because you have the gaydar. You know there's a saying "it takes one to know one" :-)