sexiespider Posted October 12, 2012 Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 When a guy tells me that he is worried about letting others “find out” or to let others know that he is gay, because he says that he knows that they won’t accept. I’ve heard this many times – I know that they won’t accept. I know that they cannot accept. I asked this guy once – how do you know that they won’t accept? Have you told them? There was this one guy who told me that his group of friends have many friends but he just knows that they won’t be able to accept because even though they are open, they find that the group of gay people that they were hanging out were too “bitchy” and didn’t like them. When I asked further, I realised that he was the one who was uncomfortable that they seemed ” bitchy” and thus he had made it such that his friends were uncomfortable as well. See, he wasn’t able to accept himself and thus he had created ideas in his own mind that others won’t be able to do so. He wanted to justify his own internal fears by creating a reality that wasn’t present.This is what I realise – for some gay people who claim that others simply won’t accept who they are, and they just know it – they don’t. In the first instance, they have not allowed themselves to accept themselves, and so they put it on others that others won’t accept. Why do we do that? So that we don’t have to think about ourselves, so that we won’t need to understand why we cannot accept ourselves and learn to manage it. It’s always easier to say that others cannot accept and because it’s them who cannot, we cannot do anything about it. But truth is, we’ve learnt to put the blame on them so that we can run away from understanding why we cannot accept ourselves, and to learn to do so. Why can we not accept ourselves? The reasons are the same as to what was described above. All we have heard about gay people is what the media and others have spoken about. Even though some gay people might also have many gay friends, we might still choose to hold on to ideas that the media talks about that makes fun of or demean gay people. And we hold on to it. We believe it, and thus we believe that as a gay person, we are “not right” as well. But can you fault people who do so? Humans are group animals. We want to belong and be part of a group. When we think society says that being gay is weird, even as a gay person, we might want to think similarly, because we want to belong to the larger group. Being part of a larger group makes us feel safer, more secure, more protected. And if we can feel protected, perhaps denying who we are might feel better than having to accept who we are, and have to feel separated. It’s a trade-off, we think.I’ve learnt to put myself out. I’ve learnt to be as true as I can to myself. Sometimes, I worry that others will judge or say things about me. And sometimes I am concerned. I think that when I try to be myself and if someone is pointing, that they are laughing at me. But, if you truly understand, you would understand that your worries arises not from what people think, but from what you think. If you feel that you are not good enough, you are going to think that others won’t think that you are good enough. You would think that they are going to make fun of you. I’ve learnt that when I believe in myself, others will similarly believe in me. And even if they do, I’ve learnt that it’s because they don’t know me, they don’t understand me. Should I have to reach out to all the 7 billion people in this world to gain their acceptance? I only need my close group of people who love me to be supportive of me, and to embrace and accept me. That’s enough.http://myrighttolove.com/2012/10/11/are-you-gay-confused-or-married-to-a-woman/ wolfyboy and joeltkl 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2012 Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 sexiespider Yawn. i always felt more sleppy reading yr long story. very loh soh.worst than the topic noisy and talkative girls. and dun kwow why u have to create a new topic where there is a similar one where stbrianud talk about running away to JB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted October 12, 2012 Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 sexiespider Yawn. i always felt more sleppy reading yr long story. very loh soh.worst than the topic noisy and talkative girls. and dun kwow why u have to create a new topic where there is a similar one where stbrianud talk about running away to JB.Did you not see the link at the end of the post? Now you knowwwwwww! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted October 12, 2012 Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 is more like a Bible from the blogger.preaching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tblee Posted October 12, 2012 Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 He's trying to write articles addressed to younger gay men struggling with their identity and self esteem issues. I think it's great that someone is doing this, but I question the provocative titles. Guys click on the forum to look for a personal story or experience about the title but then they find some analysis instead.Many of his articles address assumptions we have about who we are, how others perceive us and what we think others think of us. But sometimes the best thing to do is just to go out there, meet people, experience life and question everything. Don't expect ready answers for everything, life is not a Wikipedia, but the act of questioning is worthwhile because it makes you think. sexiespider 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guessy Posted October 12, 2012 Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 lol damn so long la some of the sentence keep repeat n repeat only . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexiespider Posted October 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 sexiespider Yawn. i always felt more sleppy reading yr long story. very loh soh.worst than the topic noisy and talkative girls. and dun kwow why u have to create a new topic where there is a similar one where stbrianud talk about running away to JB.Hi, don't read it then. It's not meant for you. Meant for those who have undergone similar experiences and have an open mind to want to learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexiespider Posted October 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2012 lol damn so long la some of the sentence keep repeat n repeat only .Hi, I need to address your comment. Please do not use different nicks to post the similar comments. If you do not think this thread is useful, move on. This thread isn't for you. Go troll somewhere else. I've written before that people troll because they seek attention and do not know how to put their comments across usefully. If you want to be less useful, go to a forum which seeks less meaning. This thread is meant for people who are seeking answers, just like I am. I'm sharing my sincere thoughts and there are people who want to hear them, and people who have thoughts as well. So, come back with some if you want to contribute. And we can take it from there. Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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