Hiv Spreader

[maxevan]

I just got diagnosed with HIV and I called the guy whom I suspect gave it to me. (yes we did raw)

I asked again if he was negative and he said he was, so I told him he had to get checked. His response was a nonchalant "oh dear".

 

Later the same night, I called him back and asked if I could tag along for his test. I want to know that he bothers to take the test and his result. The first 2 calls from my mobile was cut off. I used my landline and sure enough he picked up. He had blocked my mobile no. I asked him when he was going to get checked and if i could come along, and he replied that it was none of my business and hung up on me.

 

I suspect he already was, or knew abt his status cos he didnt seem to be bothered with what i had told him. Sure enough I logged onto the chatroom and found him looking for sex as usual.

 

The counselor at AFA mentioned that reporting him to the police will not help much as I cant prove he gave it to me. But what else can I do? Is he allowed to just continue spreading HIV to others then?

 

I am looking for advice on actions (if any) I can take against him and not so much the judgement or comments on how unprotected sex is not worth it. Thanks..

 

[Rainbow Guy]

Hey Maxevan

 

I am sorry to hear ur plight, hope you do realise that HIV+ is a lifestyle change and not the end of the world issue. I believe that the counsellors at AFA would have given you enough information regarding the management of this condition.

 

Ya it is hard to pin point who gave it to you if you have multiple partners over the span of this few months. Of course the possibility is high for that particular person you have unprotected intercourse and he ejaculated in you. 

 

1. If you are prepared to go thru a long tedious journey with the police, you can file a police report. But bear in mind that men having sex with man (MSM) is still a criminal act in Singapore, and you might be prosecuted as well.

 

2. Doing volunteer work to devote yourself to educating the young and ignorant MSM about safe sex.

 

Not too sure if uploading a picture of this man can help if you cannot be sure of his HIV status, lets see what the others more experienced forum members says.

[Guest guest]

any pic or nickname since he is from the chat room. We need to be cautious if he is spreading.So stick to one regular partner is safer than everyday searching for sex.

[maxevan]

Hey Maxevan

 

I am sorry to hear ur plight, hope you do realise that HIV+ is a lifestyle change and not the end of the world issue. I believe that the counsellors at AFA would have given you enough information regarding the management of this condition.

 

Ya it is hard to pin point who gave it to you if you have multiple partners over the span of this few months. Of course the possibility is high for that particular person you have unprotected intercourse and he ejaculated in you. 

 

1. If you are prepared to go thru a long tedious journey with the police, you can file a police report. But bear in mind that men having sex with man (MSM) is still a criminal act in Singapore, and you might be prosecuted as well.

 

2. Doing volunteer work to devote yourself to educating the young and ignorant MSM about safe sex.

 

Not too sure if uploading a picture of this man can help if you cannot be sure of his HIV status, lets see what the others more experienced forum members says.

 

I have had one other partner, and he is a regular. He is worried sick now and I pray I have not passed it on to him. Unlike the bastard who couldnt care less. 

 

I just got the news last evening. Right now, all I can think about is making sure the bastard pays for his actions. I want to make sure he doesnt get away with this. Not sure if prosecution for msm applies since it was done in private and not in public. Recalled reading that the law wasnt intended for this..

Edited May 20, 2015 by maxevan

[maxevan]

any pic or nickname since he is from the chat room. We need to be cautious if he is spreading.So stick to one regular partner is safer than everyday searching for sex.

 

I have his face picture but I dont think the mods will allow me to post it since it is just my side of the story.

 

What i can share here is, he is a local chn whose stats are 39 171 59 (forgot about the exact weight), and he stays in BP.

He can be seen seeking CF online the trevvy chatroom nightly.

[Guest Norm]

It's really brave what you've been doing, notifying your partners. And it's the reaponsible thing to do, wish you best of luck in exposing this bastard, and most importantly, in leading a healthy life

[Guest Guest]

Was it a consented raw sex session from both of you?

[Guest wozzit]

I just got the news last evening. Right now, all I can think about is making sure the bastard pays for his actions. I want to make sure he doesnt get away with this. 

 

I am really sorry to hear about ur news. I have a friend who was diagnosed almost 2 decades ago now. To start with all he could think about was revenge as he said he knew who had given it to him. He was different though, as he never indulged in any kind of anal sex. So I asked him how he could possibly know. All he would say was Im 99% sure!

 

The trouble is that 99% sure isnt good enough to pin blame on anyone. U yourself said in ur first post "I called the guy whom I suspect gave it to me." Suspicion sadly is not fact.

 

The other issue is u got the test results just a day or so ago. So its all but certain u were infected 3 or more months ago. Did you have sex with this guy more recently than that? Is so, then he cannot have been the "culprit".

 

Sorry to say but I suspect there is zero action u can take against anyone. If u go to the police, ur regular partner will become involved. Has he been checked recently? What if he is found to be HIV+? The other guy will then probably allege it was ur partner who gave it to u! Seriously!

 

If u r determined to take some sort of action against the other guy who has blocked ur phone, Im sorry again I cannot see the police taking any action unless u have some real evidence that u n he had sex on a certain date (were there witnesses?) n that u can also prove u have not had any kind of sex - protected or not - with anyone else other than ur regular partner before the last 3 months. Think about it. All that is impossible! Your counsellor is 100% correct, sadly.

 

Telling the world this guy is HIV+ n gave u the virus also puts u on difficult legal ground IMHO. Even if he is HIV+, I suspect he may be able to take u to court for spreading false information about him since u have no firm evidence to prove it was him. Plus there is the fact u admit u engaged in unprotected sex. So u will get little sympathy from the public media.

 

Sorry this is not what u want to hear. But the real issue is u now have to be realistic. Take a few days to calm down first n then start realising that life with HIV is a long life that u can n will enjoy.

Edited May 20, 2015 by wozzit

[keyboard]

I'm surprised to see the response, will you not call the police if you see a suspicious person lurking around in the neighborhood or outside your neighbor's flat? Do you wait to see if someone else will call the fire department if you see smoke coming out from a rubbish chute? If you threw a smoked cigarette into a field and it caught fire and becomes uncontrollable, will you just walk away pretending nothing happened?

 

Is TS able to identify (through phone numbers, home addresses, usernames or accounts on websites), those people whom you had sexual contact (even protected sex) within the last HIV test (assuming you have a timeline for your sexual encounters) that are candidates for spreading HIV? This will help boil down investigations for the police.

 

https://www.moh.gov.sg/content/moh_web/home/diseases_and_conditions/h/hiv_aids.html

Under the Infectious Diseases Act, it is an offence for persons who know that they are infected with HIV not to inform their sex partners of their HIV status before sexual intercourse.

If you believe that you have HIV/AIDS or are at risk of contracting it, you must:

• take reasonable precautions to protect your sexual partner (e.g. by using condoms) or
• go for HIV testing to confirm that you are HIV-negative or
• inform your partner of the risk of contracting HIV

http://statutes.agc.gov.sg/aol/search/display/view.w3p;page=0;query=DocId%3A5e69eb8c-5499-4f83-b096-9747cd9f1fa8%20Depth%3A0%20ValidTime%3A02%2F01%2F2011%20TransactionTime%3A31%2F07%2F2003%20Status%3Ainforce;rec=0;whole=yes

 

Sexual activity by person with AIDS or HIV Infection

23.

—(1)  A person who knows that he has AIDS or HIV Infection shall not engage in any sexual activity with another person unless, before the sexual activity takes place —

(a)

he has informed that other person of the risk of contracting AIDS or HIV Infection from him; and

(b)

that other person has voluntarily agreed to accept that risk.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(2)  A person who does not know that he has AIDS or HIV Infection, but who has reason to believe that he has, or has been exposed to a significant risk of contracting, AIDS or HIV Infection shall not engage in any sexual activity with another person unless —

(a)

before the sexual activity takes place he informs that other person of the risk of contracting AIDS or HIV Infection from him and that other person voluntarily agrees to accept that risk;

(b)

he has undergone the necessary serological or other test and has ascertained that he does not have AIDS or HIV Infection at the time of the sexual activity; or

(c)

during the sexual activity, he takes reasonable precautions to ensure that he does not expose that other person to the risk of contracting AIDS or HIV Infection.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(3)  Any person who contravenes subsection (1) or (2) shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $50,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years or to both.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(4)  For the purposes of this section, a person shall not, only by reason of age, be presumed incapable of engaging in sexual activity.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(5)  For the purposes of this section, a person shall be deemed to know that he has AIDS or HIV Infection if a serological test or other test for the purpose of ascertaining the presence of HIV Infection carried out on him has given a positive result and the result has been communicated to him.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(6)  No prosecution shall be instituted for an offence under subsection (2) except with the written consent of the Public Prosecutor, but a person charged with such an offence may be arrested and be remanded in custody or released on bail notwithstanding that the consent of the Public Prosecutor to the institution of a prosecution for the offence has not been obtained, except that the case shall not be further prosecuted until that consent of the Public Prosecutor has been obtained.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

[15/2010 wef 02/01/2011]

(7)  In this section, “sexual activity” means —

(a)

sexual activity occasioned by the introduction into the vagina, anus or mouth of any person of any part of the penis of another person; or

(b)

cunnilingus.

 

 

So it seems that 3 person has been convicted of this law in the years, 2008(1) and 2012(2).

http://www.hivjustice.net/country/sg/

 

Do support groups like oogachaga or AFA have a stance what their position on this is?

(I noticed there are quite a number of HIV+ users who have written in this forum on their status before, not one have gone through the process of the law to identify the person who infected him, since there's possibly only 3 prosecuted under the law so far (2008-2015)? and there's like 500 new cases of HIV infection every year).

[Guest guest]

just continue yr normal life .as usual in the chat room or sauna but this time always remind yrself to wear a helmet during sex instead of raw.Sudden stop of everything will make ppl suspect of yr problem.

[joshTWjosh]

Just fucking expose him already

[Guest guest]

If he knows he is HIV+ and continues to have unprotected sex. He is guilty.

Report to police. Your concern is valid and will help others

[Guest Guest]

I feel sad for ur bf. Despite being attached, u still let other fuck u raw just by verbal check. Not responsible at all

[maxevan]

I feel sad for ur bf. Despite being attached, u still let other fuck u raw just by verbal check. Not responsible at all

 

He isnt my bf and yes it was unfair of me to engage in raw sex with that other guy.

[Guest Guest]

Why the f u go look for other guys when u hv a bf? I m always against open relationship

[maxevan]

I'm surprised to see the response, will you not call the police if you see a suspicious person lurking around in the neighborhood or outside your neighbor's flat? Do you wait to see if someone else will call the fire department if you see smoke coming out from a rubbish chute? If you threw a smoked cigarette into a field and it caught fire and becomes uncontrollable, will you just walk away pretending nothing happened?

 

Is TS able to identify (through phone numbers, home addresses, usernames or accounts on websites), those people whom you had sexual contact (even protected sex) within the last HIV test (assuming you have a timeline for your sexual encounters) that are candidates for spreading HIV? This will help boil down investigations for the police.

 

https://www.moh.gov.sg/content/moh_web/home/diseases_and_conditions/h/hiv_aids.html

Under the Infectious Diseases Act, it is an offence for persons who know that they are infected with HIV not to inform their sex partners of their HIV status before sexual intercourse.

If you believe that you have HIV/AIDS or are at risk of contracting it, you must:

• take reasonable precautions to protect your sexual partner (e.g. by using condoms) or
• go for HIV testing to confirm that you are HIV-negative or
• inform your partner of the risk of contracting HIV

http://statutes.agc.gov.sg/aol/search/display/view.w3p;page=0;query=DocId%3A5e69eb8c-5499-4f83-b096-9747cd9f1fa8%20Depth%3A0%20ValidTime%3A02%2F01%2F2011%20TransactionTime%3A31%2F07%2F2003%20Status%3Ainforce;rec=0;whole=yes

 

Sexual activity by person with AIDS or HIV Infection

23.

—(1)  A person who knows that he has AIDS or HIV Infection shall not engage in any sexual activity with another person unless, before the sexual activity takes place —

(a)

he has informed that other person of the risk of contracting AIDS or HIV Infection from him; and

(b)

that other person has voluntarily agreed to accept that risk.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(2)  A person who does not know that he has AIDS or HIV Infection, but who has reason to believe that he has, or has been exposed to a significant risk of contracting, AIDS or HIV Infection shall not engage in any sexual activity with another person unless —

(a)

before the sexual activity takes place he informs that other person of the risk of contracting AIDS or HIV Infection from him and that other person voluntarily agrees to accept that risk;

(b)

he has undergone the necessary serological or other test and has ascertained that he does not have AIDS or HIV Infection at the time of the sexual activity; or

(c)

during the sexual activity, he takes reasonable precautions to ensure that he does not expose that other person to the risk of contracting AIDS or HIV Infection.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(3)  Any person who contravenes subsection (1) or (2) shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $50,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years or to both.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(4)  For the purposes of this section, a person shall not, only by reason of age, be presumed incapable of engaging in sexual activity.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(5)  For the purposes of this section, a person shall be deemed to know that he has AIDS or HIV Infection if a serological test or other test for the purpose of ascertaining the presence of HIV Infection carried out on him has given a positive result and the result has been communicated to him.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

(6)  No prosecution shall be instituted for an offence under subsection (2) except with the written consent of the Public Prosecutor, but a person charged with such an offence may be arrested and be remanded in custody or released on bail notwithstanding that the consent of the Public Prosecutor to the institution of a prosecution for the offence has not been obtained, except that the case shall not be further prosecuted until that consent of the Public Prosecutor has been obtained.

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

[15/2010 wef 02/01/2011]

(7)  In this section, “sexual activity” means —

(a)

sexual activity occasioned by the introduction into the vagina, anus or mouth of any person of any part of the penis of another person; or

(b)

cunnilingus.

 

 

So it seems that 3 person has been convicted of this law in the years, 2008(1) and 2012(2).

http://www.hivjustice.net/country/sg/

 

Do support groups like oogachaga or AFA have a stance what their position on this is?

(I noticed there are quite a number of HIV+ users who have written in this forum on their status before, not one have gone through the process of the law to identify the person who infected him, since there's possibly only 3 prosecuted under the law so far (2008-2015)? and there's like 500 new cases of HIV infection every year).

 

 

I have had sex with only 3 guys in the last 3mths. and I took a test 7 weeks after the 1st, and was cleared on Apr 7. And from April till now, its been just the 1 encounter with the spreader and a few with the buddy.

 

If need be, I'll gladly let the police or whoever check my phone etc.. 

[Guest Bp]

Maxevan,u had cf with him rite ?

[camus]

just don't do raw with anyone

 

you have to treat everyone as if they have it already if you really want to protect yourself

[LickinGood]

just don't do raw with anyone

 

you have to treat everyone as if they have it already if you really want to protect yourself

it sound so wrong but i have to agreed to it .....

[Guest Fxxk hiv spreaders]

Hate all the hiv spreaders,they are same with murders!why they want ruin others' life just because their life is already ruined?

never do raw sex,sisters and brothers,it is fucking not worthy at all,there is no turning back!

[Guest wozzit]

I'm surprised to see the response, will you not call the police if you see a suspicious person lurking around in the neighborhood or outside your neighbor's flat? Do you wait to see if someone else will call the fire department if you see smoke coming out from a rubbish chute? If you threw a smoked cigarette into a field and it caught fire and becomes uncontrollable, will you just walk away pretending nothing happened?

 

Is TS able to identify (through phone numbers, home addresses, usernames or accounts on websites), those people whom you had sexual contact (even protected sex) within the last HIV test (assuming you have a timeline for your sexual encounters) that are candidates for spreading HIV? This will help boil down investigations for the police.

 

But this is not the same as a suspicious person lurking in the neighbourhood or calling the Fire Brigade when u see a fire etc. In these cases u have evidence that can be acted on n some proof. In the TS case, there is unfortunately no reliable evidence at all - as his Counsellor advised! Sure he has suspicions, but u cannot convict someone merely on suspicion! Nor can u openly accuse that person without clear evidence!

 

And please dont make the mistake of thinking u r HIV- only on the basis of just one test. It takes 2 tests 3 months apart to b sure. N in that 3 months u need to b 100% sure there has been no exchange of bodily fluids. 

 

See also my reply to the TS below. 

 

I have had sex with only 3 guys in the last 3mths. and I took a test 7 weeks after the 1st, and was cleared on Apr 7. And from April till now, its been just the 1 encounter with the spreader and a few with the buddy. 

 

But you forget a key issue. The HIV antibodies can take up to 3 months to appear in the test. U say u were clear on Apr. 7. That only means u did not have HIV in ur blood on or around Jan 7. If u had raw sex with anyone any time after that date there is a very strong chance it would not show up on the test u had in April. That is why u need 2 tests with no exchange of bodily fluids between two tests 3 months apart. Only after u r cleared in the 2nd test can u say with any certainty u r HIV-! How often does this message have to be put across to guys? 

 

So the fact is that 7 weeks is not enough. Did u have sex with anyone - protected or unprotected - in the 6 weeks before that? If u did, whoever that was could have infected u.

 

The other important point to note is that u had sex with the guy u accuse after April 7. U therefore have to remember if this guy did in fact infect u, the chances of the HIV antibodies appearing in your blood a maximum of 8 weeks later are in fact slim! What did your Counsellor say on this point?

 

Sorry to be so blunt but it seems u r dealing with ur own suspicions not with hard facts. On the other hand, if u r certain the guy u refer to is HIV+ even if he was not the one to pass the virus to u, he should be reported to the authorities.

Edited May 20, 2015 by wozzit

[Rainbow Guy]

in short,

 

one partner, many positions

[G_M]

I have his face picture but I dont think the mods will allow me to post it since it is just my side of the story.

 

What i can share here is, he is a local chn whose stats are 39 171 59 (forgot about the exact weight), and he stays in BP.

He can be seen seeking CF online the trevvy chatroom nightly.

 

As much as I empatised with you, BW cannot allow you to use our forum for your vengeance / revenge.

 

1. we are not able to verify if you really have HIV

2. we able not able to verify if the other person had actually gave you HIV

3. we are not the law and neither are we it's executor.

 

Please Do Not post any info or pics which may implicate our forum for defamation. 

 

What we hope you could do is to help spread the use condom instead.

 

Take care and move on from this episode and do good. Don't let this episode makes you a bitter person and live your life to the fullest. 

 

Cheers.

[keyboard]

Hi Wozzit,

 

i'm under the impression that you are more towards avoiding hard stances in situations. I'm curious what would you say to a rape victim seeking redress?

 

 

 

I think real newly infected people should attempt to map the sexual history and requires a nudge from authorities to stop the spread of infectious diseases. HIV test kit gen-4 has been able to detect antibodies with exposure above 4 weeks. Mapping out a 6 months or 1 year sexual history shouldn't be too difficult for most people i assume.

[Guest wozzit]

Hi keyboard

 

I am sorry we seem to b taking opposing positions. Please understand thats not my purpose. HIV is too serious to get into an "I say - U say" chat room argument.

 

I actually agree with u. Anyone infected with HIV who knows for certain who infected him - please note the need for certainty - then I believe that person should do everything possible to expose the guy (or girl) who gave him the virus. The problem here is "certainty".

 

Of course u r right. The ideal situation is to keep a note of dates n times u r tested n when n with whom (and how) u had sex. Thats what the original HIV researchers did in the early 1980s when they were trying to work out what on earth was causing groups of gay men in New York n San Francisco to come down with the strange new disease that caused infections rarely seen in healthy men. With a lot of cross referencing n a lot of honesty from the gay men, the researchers were eventually able to pinpoint how the disease was being spread.

 

Yes the 4th gen test kits now in use in the UK n USA r accurate to within about 4 weeks. Im not sure if they r in general use in Singapore. If so then some of my comments above r wrong. But its important to note they r not in use everywhere n the 2 test x 3 month window will give the most accurate readings there.

 

But the real problem with ur suggestion is this - how many gay guys, especially those into casual sex in saunas, can possibly provide a detailed n accurate history of with whom they had sex, type of sex, where n when? Sorry but I think it will b all but impossible. R guys in saunas going to provide their contact details to everyone they have sex with? I just think thats pie in the sky - sadly! For most sauna patrons, sex is anonymous n often that is part of the attraction.

 

As for rape victimes, again I have to suggest the analogy is not accurate. Rape is for the most part a one-time occurrence for a victim. If the victim reports it immediately after it happens there is a wealth of evidence for the investigators, including DNA from the semen. A guy who discovers he is infected with HIV was almost certainly infected many weeks/months earlier. There is just no evidence trail - unless every gay guy does as you propose n keeps a detailed record. Do u seriously believe most gays will do that?

[Guest guest]

than both will be charge under 377A.Not worth the trouble.

[gsky]

Sorry for asking, I don't understand what cf stands for, can someone please  explain. Thanks/

[Guest guest]

cf stands for confirm la. Hossan leong fav words double confirm.

[Guest Guest]

than both will be charge under 377A.Not worth the trouble.

You must be the HIV spreader. You sounded frightened and try to discourage him to report police.

[mamamia]

U should call the police and check as a general enquiry, request to remain anonymous first ; then decide the next course of actions ...

[puppyfart]

sorry to hear dat.

perhaps it's best for u to focus on recovery, rather than figuring out how to deal with the idiot.

he will get his comeuppance in time

take care of yrself first.

[maxevan]

sorry to hear dat.

perhaps it's best for u to focus on recovery, rather than figuring out how to deal with the idiot.

he will get his comeuppance in time

take care of yrself first.

 

I cant move on knowing he is still out there seeking fun, and possibly spreading to others.

[Guest Guest]

 

But this is not the same as a suspicious person lurking in the neighbourhood or calling the Fire Brigade when u see a fire etc. In these cases u have evidence that can be acted on n some proof. In the TS case, there is unfortunately no reliable evidence at all - as his Counsellor advised! Sure he has suspicions, but u cannot convict someone merely on suspicion! Nor can u openly accuse that person without clear evidence!

 

And please dont make the mistake of thinking u r HIV- only on the basis of just one test. It takes 2 tests 3 months apart to b sure. N in that 3 months u need to b 100% sure there has been no exchange of bodily fluids. 

 

See also my reply to the TS below. 

 

 

But you forget a key issue. The HIV antibodies can take up to 3 months to appear in the test. U say u were clear on Apr. 7. That only means u did not have HIV in ur blood on or around Jan 7. If u had raw sex with anyone any time after that date there is a very strong chance it would not show up on the test u had in April. That is why u need 2 tests with no exchange of bodily fluids between two tests 3 months apart. Only after u r cleared in the 2nd test can u say with any certainty u r HIV-! How often does this message have to be put across to guys? 

 

So the fact is that 7 weeks is not enough. Did u have sex with anyone - protected or unprotected - in the 6 weeks before that? If u did, whoever that was could have infected u.

 

The other important point to note is that u had sex with the guy u accuse after April 7. U therefore have to remember if this guy did in fact infect u, the chances of the HIV antibodies appearing in your blood a maximum of 8 weeks later are in fact slim! What did your Counsellor say on this point?

 

Sorry to be so blunt but it seems u r dealing with ur own suspicions not with hard facts. On the other hand, if u r certain the guy u refer to is HIV+ even if he was not the one to pass the virus to u, he should be reported to the authorities.

 

 

 

Hi Wozzit,

 

i'm under the impression that you are more towards avoiding hard stances in situations. I'm curious what would you say to a rape victim seeking redress?

 

 

 

I think real newly infected people should attempt to map the sexual history and requires a nudge from authorities to stop the spread of infectious diseases. HIV test kit gen-4 has been able to detect antibodies with exposure above 4 weeks. Mapping out a 6 months or 1 year sexual history shouldn't be too difficult for most people i assume.

 

Hi keyboard

 

I am sorry we seem to b taking opposing positions. Please understand thats not my purpose. HIV is too serious to get into an "I say - U say" chat room argument.

 

I actually agree with u. Anyone infected with HIV who knows for certain who infected him - please note the need for certainty - then I believe that person should do everything possible to expose the guy (or girl) who gave him the virus. The problem here is "certainty".

 

Of course u r right. The ideal situation is to keep a note of dates n times u r tested n when n with whom (and how) u had sex. Thats what the original HIV researchers did in the early 1980s when they were trying to work out what on earth was causing groups of gay men in New York n San Francisco to come down with the strange new disease that caused infections rarely seen in healthy men. With a lot of cross referencing n a lot of honesty from the gay men, the researchers were eventually able to pinpoint how the disease was being spread.

 

Yes the 4th gen test kits now in use in the UK n USA r accurate to within about 4 weeks. Im not sure if they r in general use in Singapore. If so then some of my comments above r wrong. But its important to note they r not in use everywhere n the 2 test x 3 month window will give the most accurate readings there.

 

But the real problem with ur suggestion is this - how many gay guys, especially those into casual sex in saunas, can possibly provide a detailed n accurate history of with whom they had sex, type of sex, where n when? Sorry but I think it will b all but impossible. R guys in saunas going to provide their contact details to everyone they have sex with? I just think thats pie in the sky - sadly! For most sauna patrons, sex is anonymous n often that is part of the attraction.

 

As for rape victimes, again I have to suggest the analogy is not accurate. Rape is for the most part a one-time occurrence for a victim. If the 

 

I would call the police anyway. They would be able to find out if he was diagnosed positive and when. If he knew he is HIV+ and still had sex with you without informing you, he's in for a lot of trouble

 

victim reports it immediately after it happens there is a wealth of evidence for the investigators, including DNA from the semen. A guy who discovers he is infected with HIV was almost certainly infected many weeks/months earlier. There is just no evidence trail - unless every gay guy does as you propose n keeps a detailed record. Do u seriously believe most gays will do that?

 

Hi Keyboard, yes you are right, gen4 test kit is 96% accurate. i got myself tested with the gen4 test kit in dsc and when i told the counsellor that 96% is not high enough for the test and he was shocked then told me 96% is already very high and almost for sure that i am cleared from HIV

 

Hi Wozzit, sorry to say i do hate both reading as well as writing long paras. to keep things short and to answer to some of your points, yes gen4 test kits are available for $40 at the dsc. im not too sure if the mobile free testing centers of afa has got gen4 test kits equipped but then again they do give free test for gen3 test kit which is the 3 mth exposure that you talked about

 

on mapping out possible sex partners highlighted, i do understand that sometimes, you cant trace everyone you had sex with but as much as possible you will want to know who spread the virus to you and of course if possible as a civic conscious citizen informed those that you can that you had contacted the virus and they should get themselves checked

 

on rape victims, i do encourage them to go for PEP cos you never know what the other person may have unless you are telling me that rapiest put on a condom before raping

 

Hi Sizzler and TS, i do agree with calling the police because that would hunt that person down and stop another other possible infections with other innocent people. the person whom TS did raw with, i assume knows his hiv+ status (from the hang up calls and dont seem worried kind of attitude suggested he knew of his status) so i think he is out for revenge or something and that should be stopped.

 

all hiv+ cases has to be reported to MOH and if he already been reported then i think he is asking for trouble. if he did the test anonymously, then due to your report, if he is diagnose as hiv+, then he will be reported to MOH as well. and by then if he still continues to spread the virus around, then he will be jailed and serve him right to be jailed for being so nasty

 

from TS's timeline between tests, i think it is quite clear that the most possible cause of his infection could be the guy he had raw sex with

 

TS, i do admire your courage to inform those that you had sexual contact with about your status, hunt down the source of virus. it is not easy to tell ppl that you are hiv+ but you did it and it will have life saving effects like your other partners will be more careful and abstain themselves from sexual activities, get themselves checked and make sure they are fine. if unfortunately contacted, the earlier treatment is sort, they can live longer

[Guest Guest]

I cant move on knowing he is still out there seeking fun, and possibly spreading to others.

Im with you TS, hunt the stupid person down and make sure he is brought to justice.

 

yes, i had read about some NUS vietnamese guy has been spreading the virus to ppl in jackd and grindr and it totally disgust me.

 

i feel that you shouldnt be spreading the virus to others as a form of revenge 

[Guest Guest]

Everyone has their responsible practise safe sex, if you intend to have raw fun, then do not put the blame on others, cos both are adult, period.

[Guest wozzit]

on mapping out possible sex partners highlighted, i do understand that sometimes, you cant trace everyone you had sex with but as much as possible you will want to know who spread the virus to you and of course if possible as a civic conscious citizen informed those that you can that you had contacted the virus and they should get themselves checked

 

Thats a perfectly understandable point. But - and this surely is the crux of that issue - how r u going got achieve that tracing? Do u seriously believe that guys who go to a sauna anonymously will give u their contact details before they have sex with you? I just dont believe it! In any case, how can u b sure those details will b correct? N unless u can give the authorities a complete list, making successful traces will be very difficult. I wish I was wrong - but I dont believe I am.

 

Anyone who indulges in raw sex - n thats everyone - takes a major Russian roulette risk. If the gun happens to go off, both r to blame. Sorry to say!

[Guest Guest]

what's done cannot be undone, instead of self blaming and blaming others. i think the pro active way to do is now to do damage control which TS has been doing by informing the other partners and trying to trace down the possible source.

 

it is also being responsible in another way if you think of it

 

Everyone has their responsible practise safe sex, if you intend to have raw fun, then do not put the blame on others, cos both are adult, period.

 

[Guest Guest]

Thats a perfectly understandable point. But - and this surely is the crux of that issue - how r u going got achieve that tracing? Do u seriously believe that guys who go to a sauna anonymously will give u their contact details before they have sex with you? I just dont believe it! In any case, how can u b sure those details will b correct? N unless u can give the authorities a complete list, making successful traces will be very difficult. I wish I was wrong - but I dont believe I am.

 

Anyone who indulges in raw sex - n thats everyone - takes a major Russian roulette risk. If the gun happens to go off, both r to blame. Sorry to say!

i perfectly understand that the contacts you gotten might not be real and technically hard to trace ppl whom you had sex with in a sauna since its just a meeting place for people to have sex.

 

but we are now commenting on TS's case where he has a valid contact of the other party that the authorities could use and trace hence i believe there is a high chance the authorities can take action with the suspect

[mate69]

Sorry for asking, I don't understand what cf stands for, can someone please  explain. Thanks/

 

cf = <<No Drugs Posting>> = raw sex

[lostintranslation]

Being recently diagnosed as well, I totally understand how you feel, maxevan - the anger, the sadness, the worries... But I couldn't agree more with puppyfart.. Most important thing right now is to nurse your body back to health. It's gonna be a long journey ahead and you have to handle things one step at a time. Now, I'm not saying you should let him go and keep on spreading the virus, but from the current scale of things, you gotta let it go for now and concentrate on yourself first. Accept things that are not within your control, deal with things that you can control, and move on. I'm guessing you haven't done contact tracing or anything like that, so you still have time to figure this out ok? Take things one step at a time, alright?

Stay strong buddy.

[Guest Boog]

One moment of orgasm for a lifetime of regret.

 

Is it worth it?

[rhonl]

377A is non-enforceable; do not let it deter you from making a police report if you can reasonably ascertain the circumstances of your infection.

The advice most people have given about focusing on yourself and getting well are certainly well-meaning, but make no mistake - malicious infection remains a crime under the penal code and he is a criminal. I honestly think that too many innocent lives have been affected to justify a mere moving on from.

Being both adults agreeing to raw sex is inconsequential. Consensual sex implies consent to sex (and hence not rape); it does not absolve the other party of the lawful responsibility to inform or take reasonable measures to protect him from STDs.  

And to those slut-shaming TS, what the holy fuck guys.

[Netizen]

The TS shares his experience here, which I see it as an outlet for him to speak his thoughts and feelings. It also serves as a reminder to all on the consequences of unsafe sex.

I feel that any constructive advise will be appreciated by him, condemnation and sarcasm are not what he is looking for.

[Guest Can't wait]

Absolutely agree. Sarcasm and condemnation is uncalled for in this situation. What are these high & mighty idiots trying to prove.

The TS shares his experience here, which I see it as an outlet for him to speak his thoughts and feelings. It also serves as a reminder to all on the consequences of unsafe sex.

I feel that any constructive advise will be appreciated by him, condemnation and sarcasm are not what he is looking for.

[Guest Guest]

Remind me of a favorite Turn-off "I have been tested. You can fuck me without condom."

The all-time favorite is still "Lao Gong".

Perhaps you would care to practice damage control by switching your mentality.  Instead of being HIV positive, you are down with other chronic diseases such as diabetes, just with social stigma attached.  Undergo treatment if not take traditional medication.

Sex-wise, you call the shots as before being infected.

Judicially wise, the last I heard civil lawsuit is a costly affair here.  Make sure the perpetrator can afford to compensate you monetarily first.

To the moderator, where on earth is my reaffirmation mail.  Ruddythe. 

[Guest Glyph]

To the moderator, where on earth is my reaffirmation mail.  Ruddythe.

What reaffirmation mail are you referring to?

If you're facing a technical issue, please ask your question here.

[Guest Chris]

what are the chances of getting hiv via oral sex 69? i had unprotected 69.

[Guest wozzit]

what are the chances of getting hiv via oral sex 69? i had unprotected 69.

Virtually negligible. The linings of the mouth n throat r very resistant to viral infections. Also, saliva in the mouth will kill the virus, as will the acids in the stomach if u swallow semen.

But u have to be careful that u do not have any cuts or open sores in your mouth or on your lips. Also after brushing ur teeth u may have some slight bleeding. In these cases avoid oral sex without protection.

But b aware that oral sex can transmit other STDs like herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis, chlamydia n others.

[Guest Chris]

Virtually negligible. The linings of the mouth n throat r very resistant to viral infections. Also, saliva in the mouth will kill the virus, as will the acids in the stomach if u swallow semen.

But u have to be careful that u do not have any cuts or open sores in your mouth or on your lips. Also after brushing ur teeth u may have some slight bleeding. In these cases avoid oral sex without protection.

But b aware that oral sex can transmit other STDs like herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis, chlamydia n others.

nope, neither he or me hav open sores, bleedingor cuts..am i safe from hiv?

[superflawless]

Hi Wozzit,

i'm under the impression that you are more towards avoiding hard stances in situations. I'm curious what would you say to a rape victim seeking redress?

I think real newly infected people should attempt to map the sexual history and requires a nudge from authorities to stop the spread of infectious diseases. HIV test kit gen-4 has been able to detect antibodies with exposure above 4 weeks. Mapping out a 6 months or 1 year sexual history shouldn't be too difficult for most people i assume.

Mapping and tracing is one thing. Without concrete proof, and there really is no proof at this stage, we cannot definitively conclude who was the real source of the information. The important issue here is this: EVERYONE is responsible. In this day and age, how can anyone in the right mind still engage in condomless sex? The OP must and should bear some responsibility. My heart goes out to him. But it is important to remind all that he was not raped. It was consensual sex.

Anyone who indulges in raw sex - n thats everyone - takes a major Russian roulette risk. If the gun happens to go off, both r to blame. Sorry to say!

I agree completely.

Stay monogamous or remain celibate. If you have to have sex, then do not indulge in condomless sex. It just takes seconds to put on rubber.

Absolutely agree. Sarcasm and condemnation is uncalled for in this situation. What are these high & mighty idiots trying to prove.

No one is trying to prove anything. If it turns out the guy is infected, he can easily turn the tables on OP and say that it was him who pass the virus to him. Then it would be a case of pointing fingers. You might get the OP in trouble even further. Because, as of today, there is no way to test who was the original infector (SP?). By all means, have a talk with the guy in person. Then tape record the conversation. If you can manage to record a confession, then perhaps, just maybe get a conviction. But right now, I do know of any way to stop this guy.

but i realised i got 2 spots like rashes on my neck , 2 on my back and its itchy and i am feel heavy headed these few days.

Go get tested. It will give you peace of mind.